


I'm a Monster (Monsters deserve Love)

by Lady_Layla



Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: BAMF Karen Page, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Drinks With Friends, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Frank Castle has PTSD, Frank Castle has a lot of guilt, Frank Castle needs a hug, Frank kept the dog, Frank takes time to heal, Hurt/Comfort, Karen can take care of herself, Karen gets a cat, Karen makes a lot of friends, Karen moves a lot, Lucky the Dog - Freeform, Minor or background Relationships - Freeform, Monsters deserve love too, Pepper Potts is a BAMF, Romance, Slow Burn, There's no jumping right into a relationship here, Trish teaches Karen how to kick ass, he's working on it, no one's surprised
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-08-16 18:28:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 23,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8112784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Layla/pseuds/Lady_Layla
Summary: Monsters deserve love too, or so I'm told. Frequently and at a loud enough volume it makes you want to run away from it.In which Frank Castle admits he's in love with Karen Page and faces the fact that he's not ready to do anything about it...yet.Meanwhile Karen Page is writing an article about someone else who sees themself as a monster





	1. A Meeting is Requested

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this story WILL make sense eventually! (Yes, it's one of those things where the title is mentioned in the story. SorrynotSorry)
> 
> This is my first full fledged Kastle fic and I'm really excited about it! It is multi-chapter and I have MOST of it already written and beta'd by the wonderful Evil Bunny Wolf who has been awesome with this whole thing!
> 
> I'm going to be posting like once a week, maybe twice. As of right now this fic has 14 chapters with the last two waiting for edit.

Karen’s been working at the Bulletin for six months when she gets a phone call from Ellison at seven-thirty in the morning.

Half a year he’s known her, he should know she’s never up before eleven anymore.

After a minute of grumbling she grabs her phone off the night stand and answers it. “Mmmpfh?”

“Morning to you too, Page. Listen, I got a phone call early this morning.”

“Earlier than this?”

“Very funny. Look, you’ve got an appointment at nine am.”

Karen sits up quickly, “With who?”

“Virginia Potts.”

“The CEO of Stark Industries?”

“Do you know any other Potts?”

“Shit. What about?”

“No idea. Her PA called me and said they’re expecting you at the front desk at eight forty-five for security checks.”

“Damn. Okay.”

“Let me know what’s going on when you’re done.” he says before hanging up.

Karen spends another five minutes freaking out before jumping out of bed and running into the bathroom.

Sometimes it was a little weird living in this new apartment with more than one room, but her first check had been larger than she’d anticipated and Ellison had waved it off with a curt, “Hazard pay,” before shutting the door on her.

She showers quickly and only dries her hair half-way before putting it up in a ponytail. It takes her a lot longer to decide what to wear because, well…it’s a meeting with Pepper fucking Potts and Karen’s not sure when she developed such a crush.

Finally, with only a little time to spare if she’s going to take the subway, which she always does because taxi money can be put to better use, she darts out of her apartment, locking the door behind her, and dashes down the three flights of stairs.

* * *

The trip seems to take forever but she’s still got time to spare when she walks into Stark...well, Avengers Tower now and her heels make a satisfying clicking against the tile floor.

“Karen Page,” she says to the woman sitting at the desk who smiles warmly at her before picking up a phone. A few minutes later a stunning redhead walks up to her.

“Miss Page?”

Karen nods.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Natalie Rushman, Miss Potts’ assistant.”

Karen nods again, almost choking on the words ‘you’re the Black Widow.’ but she’s not stupid so she keeps her mouth shut.

Her face must make it perfectly obvious, though, because the other woman smirks as she leans down to have her eye scanned. As they step into the elevator she speaks again. “You’d be surprised at how many people choose to think it’s just an uncanny resemblance.”

“I guess some people really believe ignorance is bliss.” She’s surprised at the smile this quip brings to the other woman’s face and Karen feels a little pleased.

They’re silent the rest of the way up to their destination and when the elevator doors open again she must make a noise. They’re not in an office, or even a hallway leading to an office but what looks like a massive living room with a bar situated in the left corner.

A brunette perks up from her position at what Karen assumes is a dining room table and gets up to greet them.

“Nat, Miss Page. It’s really nice to meet you, I’m Darcy Lewis, Miss Potts actual assistant.”

Karen shakes her hand and tilts her head trying to recall where she’s heard the name before. Darcy laughs.

“I used to work for Dr. Jane Foster.”

“Oh! You were there at first contact with Thor! I read the leaked files.” Karen admits with an embarrassed smile.

“That’s what I put them out for” Natasha quips and Karen just kind of gapes at her for a minute but then she’s quickly distracted by the elevator dinging again to admit Pepper Potts.

“You must be Karen Page,” she says, coming over with a soft smile and a hand shake.

“Yes. That’s me.”

“Great, if you want to sit at the table we can get started.”

Karen tries to focus on her breathing, tries not to just blurt out her feelings on Pepper’s amazing handling of men like Tony Stark, her rise to CEO, and general badassery as she walks behind Pepper and Darcy to the table.

Natasha keeps to the edges of the room, making rounds without seeming like she’s watching for anything in particular.

“I’ll get right to the point, Miss Page. We’ve been keeping up with your recent articles in the Bulletin about the things going on in Hell’s Kitchen, and we’d like for you to write an article.”

Karen can feel her eyebrows raise and her mouth open in surprise. She isn’t sure why she’s surprised at all since she does work for a newspaper.

“Well, we don’t want you to write anything untrue or anything like that,” Darcy cuts in. “We’d like you to write a profile piece.”

“On who?”

Darcy makes a face, “I read your article ‘What does it mean, to be a hero?’ and I think you’d be perfect to write a profile on James Barnes.”

“The Winter Soldier, James Barnes?”

“We know it sounds a little crazy but--”

“You don’t think he’s a dangerous psychopath?”

Karen’s heard a lot of things, read a lot of things on James Buchanan Barnes. He might be a brainwashed assassin, but his story reminds her a little bit of Frank.

A lot of things remind her of Frank recently.

The point is she wants to know how Darcy feels about the man and it’s her reaction that settles it for Karen, Darcy’s face morphs quickly into one of disdain and anger, “No. I don’t. You don’t think Frank Castle is a dangerous psychopath?”

Karen just smiles at her.

“I’d be happy to write the article. If you need something quick and short, it usually takes me a week or two for the research, interviews, and write-up, but if you’re looking for a headline and an inside page I usually keep a two- month deadline.”

From the way Darcy is slumped back Karen gets the feeling this whole meeting was her idea and Pepper’s name was just thrown around for clout, a fact that the other woman doesn’t seem to mind at all

She leans forward to once again shake Karen’s hand. “Thank-you Miss Page, I have another meeting so if you’ll excuse me, it was nice to meet you.”

Darcy decides to come with them on the trip back down to the lobby and she exchanges cards with Karen, who can’t believe she has her own business cards. She doesn’t realize she’d said the last thought out loud until Darcy laughs.

“Don’t I know that feeling. I went from an unpaid science intern to paid science wrangler to personal assistant to Pepper Freaking Potts.”

The awe in her voice makes Karen grin and she has a fleeting thought that she and Darcy might end up pretty good friends.

They say goodbye in the lobby, but something makes Karen pause to turn when she’s almost at the doors. She sees Darcy standing in line at the coffee bar when someone sidles up to her.

It’s obviously a man and from his build plus the dark hoodie he’s wearing with the hood pulled up, even inside, she has a fleeting thought that it’s Frank. But- a glimmer of metal as he reaches out to brush Darcy’s arm is enough to clue her in, and the beaming smile Darcy gives him in return gives Karen a clearer understanding of why they want this article written.


	2. Dinner with Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Natasha tests the security of Karen's apartment (it sucks) and Karen gets a grumpy bodyguard.
> 
> Also Pepper Potts is a superhero and no one can tell Karen Page otherwise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I lied a little because I wanted to go ahead and post chapter two for you all.
> 
> Many thanks to Evil_Bunny_King for editing this for me!

She calls Ellison to tell him about the article and after a few minutes of discussion, she decides to start her research at home. After all she has almost two full hard drives with as much information as she could save following the SHIELD file leak.

She’s distracted all the way home and almost misses her subway stop

Her brain can’t stop turning over the image of Darcy beaming up at the Winter Soldier.

She can’t stop comparing their situation to her own with Frank; Frank, who she hasn’t seen in six months. Obviously he’s still alive but he’s either laying really low or he’s taken off to parts unknown.

Something aches in Karen at that thought but she ignores it as she unlocks her door only to let out a small shriek.

There are two people camped out on her new couch, staring at each other.

“Jesus Matt, you didn’t want to call first?”

She’s not sure why she chose to address him instead of the woman sitting across from him wearing a dangerous smirk.

Matt turns to face her and grimaces slightly. “Karen.”

It’s as close to an apology as she’ll ever get from Matt and she’s thankful he’s at least wearing a regular suit instead of his Red one.

“I was testing your security,” Natasha volunteers cheerily.

Karen sighs before dropping her keys on the table. “Obviously it sucks. Anyone want coffee?”

“No thanks, I’ve got to get to Foggy’s new office. He asked for my help with a case he’s working now.” Karen can hear the hope in Matt’s voice; Foggy had continued with the silent treatment for far longer than she had.

“I’d love a cup. I’ve also brought over some files I wasn’t sure if you had. See you around, Devil.” Natasha’s parting shot makes Matt freeze for the shortest minute before he nods.

“Goodbye, Ms. Widow. Karen.”

Karen follows him to the door to lock it and sighs rather dramatically.

“How is this my life? Honestly.”

“You know, I think I hear Darcy say the same thing at least three times a day,” Natasha laughs, as Karen busies herself making coffee.

“Cream or sugar?”

“One sugar please.”

“Is it cliché of me to admit I thought you’d take it black?”

“Like my heart?”

Karen sets the mug down in front of Natasha before taking the seat that Matt vacated, tucking her legs beneath her.

“It just seems like all the badasses take their coffee black.”

She leans forward to open her laptop and connect the external hard drive that’s closest so that Natasha can look through what files she’d managed to get before they started disappearing as quickly as they’d been leaked.

The next half hour is quiet as Natasha sorts through Karen’s computer, occasionally pulling paper out of or putting paper into a thick manila folder.

Karen lets her head lull on the back of the couch and her thoughts start to drift. She’s got her weekly dinner with Foggy tonight and he said he was bringing a friend from work. A female friend but nothing she has to worry about because he’s still with Marci and he wouldn’t make her feel like a third wheel.

When Natasha speaks it’s so sudden that Karen jumps a little. “Everything you don’t have that I think you need is here. I also got you a phone.”

“I have a phone,” Karen protests, as Natasha pulls out what would be considered an older smartphone out of her pocket.

“It’s a burner phone,” she explains like she’s talking to a child. “It’s got my number, Darcy’s private number, and a few others plugged in. Also, I’m going to be setting up a protection detail for you.”

Karen narrows her eyes, “I can protect myself.”

“Yes, I saw the .380 you forgot to bring with you. Do you know how to use it?”

“I’ve shot it before.”

“Knowing how to use it is different from shooting it once or twice.”

There’s a good few minutes of silence before Natasha continues. “Listen. Your contact for the protection will be meeting with you tonight at dinner with your friend Nelson. If you want to shed your detail quick ask the contact. She’ll show you some things.”

That said Natasha slips the remaining files into her jacket and leaves…through the window.

Karen groans, shuts, and locks the window after her and flops back down on the couch. She looks at the burner phone for a few minutes before shooting off a text to the contact labeled Darcy Personal.

‘ _How is this my life?_ ’

She’s sure Darcy will get where she’s coming from, she’s honestly never met someone who became so open and friendly so quickly but Darcy doesn’t seem like the type to take anything slow. Just meeting to friendship in a few minutes seems just her speed.

The answering text is almost instant. ‘ _IKR. It’s a little ridiculous_.’

‘ _How do you deal?_ ’

‘ _Lots of alcohol :D_ ’

Karen laughs and puts the phone in a side pocket of her purse.

The rest of the day goes quickly and soon she’s letting her hair down and getting ready to meet Foggy. For once they’re not going to just hang out at Josie’s but meeting in the restaurant that’s in the lobby of his new firm.

It’s late enough out that she calls a cab to take her, remembering to tuck the gun in her purse and triple check the windows of her apartment before leaving; she’s not sure she’ll be able to handle anymore surprise guests tonight.

Karen isn’t sure what she expects of the person who’s supposed to be the contact between herself and her new mysterious protection detail, but to be honest…Trish Walker sure as hell isn’t it.

She and Foggy already have a table, a few drinks, and an appetizer in front of them when the hostess leads Karen over.

“Karen!!” Foggy gets up to wrap her in a huge hug.

“Karen, this is Trish Walker.”

“Trish Walker? Like from…”She can see Trish tense at her words. “Trish Talk? I really love your show!”

Trish beams at her. “Yes, that’s me. It’s so nice to meet you, Karen. I’m a big fan of your articles!”

Dinner is fun, with Foggy telling her about some of his smaller cases, how lunch went with Matt, and how he met Trish through the firm’s PI.

When he says that Karen opens her mouth, but Trish is shaking her head and giving her a wide-eyed look so Karen switches track to tell Foggy that THE Pepper Potts wants Karen’s help by way of a newspaper article. She doesn’t tell him what it’s about, but he’s excited for her anyway.

* * *

 

After dinner, Trish insists on Karen coming back to her place. Foggy makes a few jokes about coming too but they shoo him off with promises of nothing but girl talk and getting to know each other.

They make it about three blocks before a darker haired woman in a beat-up leather jacket and boots falls into step next to Trish.

“Karen meet Jessica Jones, your security.”

Karen senses that the woman doesn’t really want to shake hands and exchange pleasantries so she says, “You a super something?” instead.

Jessica barks a laugh. “Yeah something like that. I owe the Widow a favor and you’re it.”

“Wonderful. I hope I’m not taking away from your job or anything.”

Jessica hesitates but Trish punches her in the arm so she just shrugs and doesn’t reply.

“Listen, Darcy text me today.” Trish says glancing over at Karen. “She said you told Natasha you can take care of yourself, but if you’re interested in learning enough to drop your protection I can help with that.”

The skepticism must show on Karen’s face because suddenly Trish’s smile is a little feral and scary. “Don’t worry I’m qualified.”

“Well…in that case I guess sign me up to have my ass handed to me.”

Trish laughs again as they stop in front of a very, very nice looking apartment building. “Wonderful. I’ll text you tomorrow what days I can fit you in. It was great meeting you Karen.” She gives Karen a hug, Jessica a quick kiss on the cheek, and disappears up the steps and into her building.

“I’d rather not walk home so I’m just going to call a cab.” Even though she knows she could probably walk another two blocks and find a line of them, she’s just too tired for it.

Jessica shrugs again and sits down on the steps, silent as Karen makes the phone call.

“So, how come you need a bodyguard?”

Karen snorts a little, “I agreed to write a profile piece on Bucky Barnes for Darcy and Pepper Potts.”

“Jesus, you’re not a supergroupie are you?” The look on Jessica’s face says she knows exactly who Karen is but she likes to pick at people.

“Nope, it’s more like superheroes can’t keep themselves away from the Karen Page Hot Mess Express.”

At Jessica’s raised eyebrow she adds, “I know Daredevil, the Punisher, and now The Black Widow and Pepper Potts.”

It’s Jessica’s turn to snort. “Potts isn’t a superhero.”

The cab pulls up then and Karen smiles at Jessica, “Even if she didn’t have a stabilized version of Extremis in her body I’d still call Pepper Potts a super hero. Nice meeting you.” She gets in the cab and gives the address of her building, fully aware that Jessica is planning on following her back somehow.

Thankfully there’s no one lying in wait at her apartment, so Karen can kick off her shoes, shed her clothes, pull on a large t-shirt, and just collapse into bed.


	3. So Yeah, I read them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karen runs into Frank on her way to a lunch meeting and again on her fire escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks to Evil_Bunny_King for being such an awesome beta and helping me out with this fic!!

Three weeks of near constant research, along with her regular articles, have already passed and Karen is on her way to a lunch meeting with Darcy to show her the rough draft of what she’s written so far when she’s suddenly grabbed as she passes an alley.

Panic flairs in her chest and Karen briefly wishes she’d taken Trish up on three day a week training instead of just two. She’s just starting to struggle when a voice near her ear relaxes her.

“Ma’am.”

“Jesus Christ Frank, what are you doing?” She hisses and when he releases her, she turns to face him.

He looks about the same as the last time she saw him, minus the Punisher gear, and his face is a little less of a giant bruise.

“You know you got a tail?” He ignores her question for his own.

Karen sighs.

“Shorter woman, black hair, jacket, boots, looks like the entire universe pissed in her coffee this morning?”

Frank’s mouth quirks up a little at this description but he nods. Karen steps out of the alley, dodging his hand as he tries to keep her in the shadows. She turns around for a second then spots Jessica across the street.

They make eye contact, Karen shakes her head a little bit, and Jessica keeps walking until she’s out of sight.

“That’s my protection detail.”

“That slip of a woman?” Frank’s voice is right behind her again and Karen can’t help startling.

“Yeah, if the Black Widow trusts her then so do I. Besides, there are women in the military- you of all people should know better than to underestimate someone.”

He hums an agreement at her and she can’t help but roll her eyes.

“Listen, I’m late for a lunch meeting, so either you can walk with me or let me go.”

Frank glowers at her for a minute but quickly falls into step as she starts to walk away, his head down and ball cap pulled low.

After a few more blocks he speaks again. “Why exactly does the Black Widow think you need protection for?”

“Article I’m writing.”

“Damn it, Page. Don’t you have enough to worry about from the article last week about the Italians?”

Karen stops to stare at him for a full minute.

“You read my articles?”

He scrubs a hand over his face before answering. “You said I was dead to you, I never said it back. So yeah. I read them.”

It takes a concentrated effort to keep her face neutral and start walking again; she can see the restaurant up ahead.

“I’m writing an in-depth profile piece of the Winter Soldier.”

“On Barnes? What for?”

“Before his public debut, I assume.”

This time Frank is the one who stops to stare.

“You know where Barnes is?” The look he’s giving her is intense, the look only Frank can pull off, like he’s staring right through her.

“Why? You’re not going to try and kill him are you?” Karen crosses her arms and glares but Frank huffs out a laugh.

“I think Rogers would try to kill me first, but no, no I’m not going to kill him. I don’t kill people who were honest to God brainwashed into doing the shit he did.”

“You believe he was brainwashed?”

“Yes. Ma’am.”

Karen makes a noise and turns to walk the last half block to the restaurant and when she looks around she doesn’t see Frank anywhere.

‘Typical.’ She thinks as she pulls open the door and sees Darcy waving at her from the table she has staked out.

Karen has really enjoyed meeting up with both Darcy and Trish, recently. They grab lunch or dinner together whenever possible and sometimes it seems so surreal.

It’s been a long time since Karen has had any female friends that weren’t from her hometown. It’s nice, having other women to talk to. Foggy and Matt were great…are great still, but there are just somethings that are easier to talk to other women about.

* * *

It’s almost two in the morning when a tap on the window makes Karen jump. She’s been looking over more files for the last few hours and found herself staring at a comparison photo of James Barnes before WWII next to a photo of him as the Winter Solider.

The tap comes again and Karen pulls the gun out of her purse before creeping over to the window and peers out.

For fuck sake.

She puts the gun down and opens the window leading to the fire escape where Jessica has Frank pinned to the wall with her arm against his throat.

“What the hell?”

“You going to tell your guard dog that I can come in?”

Frank’s trying to be a hardass but Karen can see the effort it takes him to say the words.

“Listen, asshole, I don’t give a shit about you, I’ve got a job to do and I’m doing it.”

“It’s okay, Jessica, he can come in.”

“The gun stays out here.”

Frank narrows his eyes at Jessica until she puts a little more pressure on his neck, then he nods, and hands over the gun. She drops him quickly and turns to walk up the rest of the stairs to the roof, calling over her shoulder, “Next time use the front door like a normal person.”

Karen rolls her eyes but moves aside so Frank can climb through her window, rubbing his neck as he does so.

“Coffee?”

“Yeah.”

She sets about making coffee, watching him look through her work out of the corner of her eye.

When it’s done she brings him a cup and leans against the kitchen counter to study him. He really does look almost exactly the same; his eyes aren’t one big bruise for once and he isn’t covered in blood but otherwise the same.

“Why are you here, Frank?”

He just shrugs a little and continues to sip coffee so Karen sighs, walks back over to the couch, and continues looking through her papers, making little notes here and there.

Frank takes the only other chair, a barstool at the kitchen counter, and now it’s his turn to study her.

Karen’s surprised when his scrutiny doesn’t make her tense more. In fact she can feel the tension draining out of her as she starts to gather her paperwork together and shut down her laptop.

“Maybe I just wanted to make sure you were okay, since you can’t seem to keep yourself out of trouble.”

Karen laughs a little bit and dips her head. “Well obviously I’ve got more people to help me out of trouble than I did a few months ago.”

“Looks like.”

“Are you going out tonight?”

Frank grimaces but shakes his head, “I uh, was just doing some recon tonight, just wanted to check in before I head home.”

She’s not sure what makes her say it but suddenly Karen is asking him to stay, before she can bring her hand up to her mouth and stop the impulse.

He breaks eye contact and glances around her apartment before he answers.

“Can’t. Gotta go take care of Lucky.”

She doesn’t even speak but he continues as if she’d asked a question, “He’s my dog. Got him from the Irish, they were using him for dog fights.”

He sets his empty cup in her sink and heads back over to the window, opening it and slipping out.

“Frank.”

He pauses but doesn’t turn around.

“Be safe out there. Oh, and tell Jessica I’m not going to work tomorrow so she doesn’t have to stay, I think I’m going to just do more research and order in.”

She can see his head move a fraction before he’s gone up the fire escape to collect his gun and Karen locks the window and drags the curtain across it. She’s suddenly exhausted, so she hurries through her nightly routine, and climbs into bed.

She dreams about Frank and isn’t surprised.


	4. Never too old for Sleepovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Karen goes to a sleepover at Trish's apartment and is interrogated by the Black Widow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks to my beta Evil_Bunny_King for helping me out with this story and catching my mistakes!

“I think I want a kitten,” Karen says suddenly and Jessica snorts as they enter the bodega around the corner from Trish’s place.

“Why?”

“For company,” Karen replies, grabbing a bottle of liquor she knows Jessica likes and sticking it in her basket with a few bottles of wine, because her mother was born in the south and taught her that you didn’t show up to someone’s home with nothing.

“I’m not home enough for a dog and I’m not a huge dog person anyway, but cats are pretty self-sufficient; just get them some toys and you’re good.”

“Cat tree too.”

Karen shoots the other woman a surprised look.

“Some cats like to be high up.”

“I’m not even going to ask how you knew that.”

Apparently Jessica called Trish about Frank’s surprise visit last night and Trish decided a girl’s night was in order- at her place of course because Karen’s apartment was too small, and Avenger’s Tower was full of nosy spies.

After she pays, they head outside, and down the block in silence; Karen can’t stop her thoughts from going back to Frank, despite her best efforts in thinking about kittens to adopt, or anything other than Frank Castle.

They’re standing in front of Trish’s door before Karen even realizes it and she’s grateful to finally have a distraction.

Darcy’s head pops up over the back of the couch and she waves at Karen.

When Natasha emerges from the kitchen, Karen just laughs.

“I feel like this is a sleepover or something.”

Trish just grins and shrugs. “Well, you don’t just shut the door when the Black Widow shows up with food.”

“Good point.”

Karen plops down on the couch and lets her head rest against the back, her eyes slipping closed.

Until she feels Darcy staring at her.

“Yes?”

“A little birdy told us you had a visitor last night.”

Karen groans and flaps a hand in Darcy’s direction. “I haven’t had any wine. Not talking about it.”

She misses Darcy exchange a grin with Trish.

* * *

Three hours and several glasses of wine later, Karen finds herself on the floor, trying to hold her chopsticks properly, and eating lukewarm Chinese take-out.

She has a feeling that she’s been tricked; if the room would stop spinning long enough for her to get a good look at Darcy or Trish she’s sure they wouldn’t be as drunk as she feels.

Damnit.

“So,” Natasha starts, plopping onto the floor next to her and stealing a piece of chicken. “How do you feel about the big bad Punisher coming to check up on you?”

“I should have known they’d send you to interrogate me. You’re blunter than I would have expected, though.”

Natasha laughs for a minute and steals more of Karen’s food. “This night was orchestrated for the sole purpose of finding out how you feel about seeing Frank Castle again.”

“Traitors!” Karen hisses in the direction of Darcy and Trish; damn, how much wine has she had? She doesn’t remember ever being a lush before this. Karen blames Foggy. They haven’t been going out to Josie’s like they used to and her tolerance has gone to shit.

“I can ask more probing questions, if you’d like.”

“Please, no. I don’t know how I feel, okay? The last time I talked to Frank was in the woods, right before he shot someone, and I told him he was dead to me. Then, he shows up to save Matt’s ass and disappears for six months! I thought he might be dead somewhere. How am I supposed to feel?”

“He wasn’t dead, or gone; he was in the city the whole time, just laying low and doing what he does.”

Natasha makes it sound so simple.

Doing what he does.

Killing people.

“Look, you’ve been hanging around Murdock too long. His warped sense of Catholic guilt is starting to rub off on you.”

“Frank kills people, though! How am I supposed to feel about it?”

“You can hate it if you want. You do realize you can like the man but not like what he does? Murdock sees the world in black and white, kind of like Steve does.”

Karen sets the now empty food container on the table and doesn’t realize she’s crying until Darcy slides down next to her and pulls her into a hug.

“Nat’s right. Nobody does guilt like 1920s Catholic guilt.”

That startles a laugh out of Karen.

“Unfortunately, the world isn’t in black and white; it’s in color and shades of grey. Steve’s had to learn about that the hard way and so will Murdock.”

Karen sighs. “Frank said that Matt was one bad day away from being just like him.”

“I think, the important question is, do want him to be in your life? Killing is part of who he is now; he’s not going to stop anytime soon.” It’s the first thing Trish has said in almost an hour.

“Yes.”

There’s no hesitation on her part.

‘ _They all think you’re a monster, but you’re not. You’re not!_

_You’ve never lied to me.’_

Her mind races back over every interaction she’s had with Frank Castle; the man who’d lost everything, the man the system let down, the man who just wanted justice.

Karen wants him in her life. She might dislike what he does, but she understands it, can live with it, as long as she gets to see him again.

“Well, it looks like you know exactly how you feel about Frank Castle.”

“Now, the only question left is how Frank feels about me. Why did he leave and why did he suddenly decide to come check up on me?”

The conversation changes to something lighter and Karen lets it wash over her, lulling her to sleep.

* * *

 

“Karen, Kaaaaareeeeen.”

Somebody is sing-songing her name in her ear, but Karen tries to ignore it.

“I made coffee.”

Coffee? She sits up and blearily looks around.

Darcy is standing next to her, waving a mug of coffee around.

Karen reaches for it, makes grabby hands, until Darcy snorts a laugh and hands it over.

After taking a big sip, Karen grins at Darcy.

“You know Thor right? Do we thank him for coffee?”

“I do. He keeps saying he had nothing to do with it, but since he’s the only god I know personally I just gave him the points for it.”

“Thank-you, Thor,” Karen intones as she sips the coffee again.

“Listen, about last night--”

“It’s fine. Seriously, I know you guys were just trying to get me to talk it out. It’s been such a long time since I’ve had any girlfriends. I was hanging around Matt and Foggy too much, getting a little emotionally constipated.”

Darcy laughs. “Well, that’s what we’re here for. Jessica went to your place last night to grab you something to wear. You going into the office today?”

“I probably should; Ellison wants to publish that article about the human trafficking ring in the paper tomorrow. I’m almost done with it, just need to give it another once over.”

“Do you ever worry something is going to happen to you because of the stuff you write?” Darcy asks as she follows Karen to the bathroom.

“Don’t you worry something is going to happen to you because of the Avengers?”

“Touché. Pepper is sending a car around; I can give you a lift to work.”

Karen nods her thanks and shuts the door to take a quick shower. She’s walking into work an hour later to finish the human trafficking piece.

She’s gotten everything done on the fact-checking side, now all she has to do is put her notes into a coherent article, which she does with time to spare.

It’s just a quiet day at the office and Karen is thankful, since she can’t stop thinking about Frank.

It seems to be a permanent setting in her brain now. Coffee, work, Frank, what’s for dinner, Frank.

Karen wants to say she isn’t sure how it happened, but she knows exactly. He made a big impression and even though he’s been gone for six months, Frank Castle has been a constant presence in her thoughts.

Near the end of the work day she makes up her mind to ask him why now- what made him take an interest now instead of months ago?

There are a lot of things Karen Page wants to ask Frank Castle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've noticed the chapter count went up to 17 but that should be it! I'm in the process of finishing chapter 16 now so it should be done soon. If anyone would like twice a week updates please let me know and I might try for it!
> 
> Thanks to everyone who's left kudos! I know this fandom isn't huge so I appreciate every one I get!


	5. Charlie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karen finds a surprise in her apartment and has interesting dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honor of Kastle living (AKA set pictures of Deborah filming with Jon) AND the fact that Jon liked one of my tweets (https://twitter.com/artemisselene_/status/784034823455244288) you guys get a second chapter this week!

It's been a long day and Karen's exhausted. She's gotten all the interviews done for the article on Bucky; except the one with the man himself.

She's grateful her apartment is only on the third floor. If the stairwell was cleaner she'd take off her shoes, but she's at her door quickly.

Digging out her keys from her purse she freezes; there's a noise coming from inside her apartment and it sounds like a bell.

Warily, Karen sets her satchel down on the ground, and digs through her purse for her .380.

Slowly, she puts the keys in the lock, turns it, and pushes the door open.

Sitting on the floor next to her kitchen counter is a small orange kitten, playing with a fuzzy red ball that's making the noise.

She just stares for a minute until the kitten notices her and comes to investigate; she quickly grabs her satchel and shuts the door so the little thing can't get out.

“Hello there, you,” she says. Scooping up the kitten to take a closer look, Karen can't help grinning.

Then, she sees the note on the counter.

_Found him when I was out and Lucky doesn't like cats._

There's a food dish, filled, on the floor in the corner of the kitchen and when Karen walks a little further she can see a litter box in tucked into the small nook next to her closet.

Karen has an idea of who wrote the note but it’s confirmed when Jessica pushes open the front door with a large cat tree in her arms.

“Tell your boyfriend I don't do deliveries.” she says setting the cat tree down next to the couch.

“I think Frank found him. I don’t know how he knew to leave the little guy here though.”

“Yeah well… I see him more than I really want to.”

“Really?”

Jessica just throws her a look before leaving again.

The kitten seems to have fallen asleep in her arms and Karen can't help smiling as she sits down on the couch. The rhythmic purring coming from the little fuzzy body slowly lulls Karen to sleep too.

 

* * *

 

She slowly wakes up a few hours later and looks around blearily, wondering what woke her. The kitten is eating from its food dish, but Karen’s eyes are stuck on the figure occupying her barstool.

Frank.

He sits at her kitchen counter cleaning a disassembled gun, his things spread out over the entire counter space.

“You forgot to lock your door.”

She’s not sure how he knows she’s awake but ignores his question for a moment to stand up and stretch.

“I was distracted and tired,” she says heading into her bedroom to change into a t-shirt, sweatpants, and let her hair down.

By the time she heads back into the kitchen, he’s got the gun put back together, and is in the middle of packing his things into a bag.

Karen starts a pot of coffee and turns the kettle on for a cup of herbal tea. She really is exhausted still and needs something decaf, but she’s not planning on kicking Frank out.

Not for anything.

A few minutes later, she sets the cup of coffee in front of him, sipping her tea and watching the cat investigate her apartment further.

“What’re you going to name him?”

“Charlie.”

For some reason this decisive answer seems to throw Frank off track and he spends a minute or so just blinking at her.

“Charlie?”

“Yep.”

“What if it’s a girl?”

“Charlie.”

“Never met a girl named Charlie.”

Karen throws him a grin with a little too much teeth as she sets her mug down and crouches to pet the little thing.

“You have now.”

Out of the corner of her eye she can see him raising his hand in surrender.

“Charlie’s a good name.”

“What are you doing here, Frank?”

“Noticed your bodyguard has been hanging around a little less. Wanted to check in.”

The shark-like grin is back and Karen stands up, Charlie cradled in her arms.

“Trish says I’m doing pretty well at the whole self-defense thing.”

“Yeah?”

Karen feels a little annoyed by his surprise and he must see it because he instantly changes his expression to something more contrite.

“Never doubted you.”

Karen huffs a laugh at him as she uses her free hand to put her tea cup in the sink and walks back over to the couch.

A few minutes later Frank joins her, reaching a hand over to pet the top of Charlie’s head as he’s curled up under Karen’s chin.

“So, I’m going to interview James this week.”

Karen cringes, just the smallest bit, as she speaks. There wasn’t a real need to break the silence, but she had to say something mundane otherwise she’s sure he’d have been suddenly drowning in bigger questions.

Questions like

‘ _Why are you really here, Frank?’ ‘What do you want from me?’ ‘Why’d you leave?’ ‘Did you miss me?’_

And for all of her bravado at the “Sleepover”, Karen doesn’t know if she’s ready to ask those questions.

Or, maybe she’s not sure she wants to hear the answers.

Dammit. When did everything become so complicated?

Frank seems to be totally oblivious to her inner turmoil as he looks over at her, one eyebrow raised.

“Oh yeah? So, you’re almost done with the article then?”

Karen just nods at him and lets the silence resume between them.

It might be a few minutes or a few hours later when he stands up and shrugs back into his huge coat.

“Gotta get going. Still got a long night ahead of me and I need to take Lucky out soon.”

Karen nods again but stays silent as he hefts his bag over his shoulder and turns to give them a long look.

It’s familiar, the look, but for the life of her she can’t remember where she’s seen it before.

“Stay safe.”

She’s not sure he heard her as the door clicks softly behind him and Karen gets up to lock it this time, keeping one hand on Charlie, so the kitten can keep sleeping on her.

Sighing, she doesn’t bother to change, just climbs into bed, and falls back to sleep petting the purring animal that’s using her as it’s bed.

* * *

Sleep isn’t easy for Karen that night. She has vivid dreams; filled with men in masks, gunshots, and bright white skulls illuminated in the dark. Her constant tossing and turning annoys the little kitten who moves to the couch and promptly falls back asleep.

In her dreams, Karen is standing alone under a street light, watching a figure move steadily towards her. She’s never felt more like prey in her entire life, even when the figure adopts Frank’s face.

She can’t move, can’t scream, can hardly breathe as he gets ever closer until finally he’s standing in front of her. She opens her mouth, but a minute shake of his head has her snapping it shut again.

The whole thing is surreal and she’s on the verge of recognizing that it’s a dream when Frank drops to his knees in front of her.

When he looks up at her from his prone position Karen is horrified to see that his face is covered in blood. His hands are too, but they reach out for her and he grabs each side of her pencil skirt and starts to slide it up her thighs.

Hysteria is threatening to take over and all she can think about is the blood is never going to come out and this is her favorite skirt.

She’s blatantly ignoring the fact that Frank is nuzzling his bloody face against her thighs and biting them hard enough to draw even more blood.

Frank looks up at her again, that look back on his face, and it’s meaning is right there; it’s right at the front of her thoughts and she’s desperate to catch it.

So desperate that she reaches out to grab for it when her hand slams against something solid and she jerks awake in bed, panting hard and heartbeat echoing in her ears.

“Shit.”

Karen swings her legs out of bed and plants her feet firmly on the floor while taking a few deep breaths.

Sometimes she’s really concerned about what her dreams would say about her to someone who studies things like that.

A bloody Frank Castle about to feel her up and eat her out in the middle of an empty street. Hell, she’s concerned on her own about what’s going on up in her head.

Glancing at the clock she groans; it’s only been 4 hours and she knows she won’t be able to get back to sleep anytime soon.

Perfect. Just perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks, as always to Evil_Bunny_king who is an awesome beta!


	6. Karen Page wants it known...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karen Page wants it known that the only reason she managed to be kidnapped was that it was a multiple party blitz attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I meant to post this chapter much earlier today but it's been pretty crazy around here. Who else is celebrating not only the new photos from the Punisher set but also Jon bringing Deborah on stage at NYCC to announce that she'll be in the series? #KASTLELIVES
> 
> Enjoy <3

Karen Page wants it known that the only reason she managed to be kidnapped was that it was a multiple party blitz attack.

She’s been practicing her defensive maneuvers and even Natasha had been impressed when she’d shown up in Trish’s training room.

As soon as she manages to get out of here she will tell everyone, loudly and frequently, that she still doesn’t need saving but she might be more skeptical of old couples asking directions in a big white van.

“Heh. I got the standard ‘jump out of an alley and put a bag over her head’ plan”

Karen blinks a few times and struggles against the drugs in her system to lift her head and look at the person across from her.

“Darcy?”

“The one and only!”

“What’re you doing here?”

Darcy gives her a funny look and Karen isn’t sure if it’s the question she asked or the fact that she started slurring her words.

“I was kidnapped too. They must have given you the good drugs. I mean I kind of figured when you started mumbling about yourself in the third person.”

Karen blinks at her again.

“Don’t worry about it. I already pushed my panic button, the team should be able to find us based on the tracker implant.”

Blink. Blink.

“Wow. You’re really prepared for stuff like this.”

Darcy just shrugs at her.

“Yeah well… This isn’t my first rodeo if you know what I mean.”

A bark of harsh laughter escapes Karen, followed by a mortified look as she tries to slap her hand across her mouth but finds that she can’t due to the restraints she feels like she should have noticed before now.

Darcy looks like she’s going to say something when the door to their room is thrown open and a tall military looking man walks in.

“Good, you’re awake.”

Darcy’s eyes widen a little when he speaks and then she glares at him. Karen is sure she’d have her arms crossed if she could.

“Rumlow.”

“Ah, you remember me.”

“Yeah. How’s your actual face doing? Still look like someone stuck a bottle rocket in a potato?”

The man growls and backhands Darcy.

“Stop it!” Karen yells.

“Welcome to our little party, Miss Page.”

“What do you want?”

Rumlow chuckles and shakes his head. “I’ve seen this movie, kitten. I’m not going to be revealing our grand plans to you. Nice stalling tactic though.”

Darcy spits a little blood in front of his feet and grins. “Please, you’re using me to lure out James so you can re-capture him and turn him back into the Winter Soldier. You’re using her to see if you can kill the Punisher while you’re at it. You need goons that know the value of secrets, Rumlow.”

The man in question looks beyond pissed and even more so when Karen speaks up.

“That’s a stupid plan. Is there even a plan in that? Honestly, at this point Darcy and I would make better super villains.”

She’s expecting him to do something, a backhand, but it hurts like an absolute _bitch_ when he punches her straight in the face.

Karen can distantly hear Darcy yell obscenities through her haze of pain. Fuck.

Fuck.

This really hurts.

God damn.

Natasha must be nuts to think you’d get used to something like this eventually.

It’s finally starting to recede as she’s forced to stand. Rumlow’s henchmen chain her and Darcy together and force them out of the room.

“They’re loading us into another van to evade our rescue.” Darcy informs her gleefully.

“How is that a good thing?”

“Our rescue is already here. No one knows about the tracker implant. Tony designed the whole thing on paper, nothing was uploaded onto his servers for anyone to find. They think we’re still being looked for.”

“But we’re already found.”

Darcy nods and suddenly there’s an eruption of gunfire in the main area of what must be a warehouse.

Their guards rush forward to help in the fight and they huddle in the doorway.

“If James doesn’t have his head up his ass, he’s going to be on a roof somewhere.”

“Frank too.”

Darcy looks at her in mild surprise but Karen doesn’t explain how she just knows Frank will be there.

Sure enough as Natasha enters the warehouse and makes her way over to them, she doesn’t have to do much. Anyone that even twitches in her direction is taken down, usually with a head shot.

“Matt would be having an aneurysm right now.”

She notices Darcy frowning a little bit and nudges her. “What?”

“Oh, nothing. Bucky usually doesn’t shoot to kill, anymore.”

Karen hums and takes a quick look around. She can see Hawkeye up in the rafters with his bow and arrows but neither Frank or Bucky are actually in the building it seems.

She’s not surprised since there are enough broken windows that they could be anywhere nearby with a good view.

When she turns back to Darcy, she’s a little surprised Natasha made it over so quickly, but she’s not sure why she’s surprised. Then, she starts giggling.

“I think they gave her the heavy duty drugs.” Darcy says.

Suddenly, everything is spinning and Karen feels like a puppet whose strings have been cut as she collapses into Natasha.

“Must be something that works over time.”

The sounds of shooting and shouting have faded, to be replaced with murmurs and footsteps as the building is cleared. Her hands feel loose and Karen thinks that they’ve been freed from the restraints, she isn’t really sure though because she’s having trouble moving her head again.

Natasha keeps her upright for the most part but her head is still lolling on Darcy’s shoulder when she hears them. The most distinct footfalls.

Shit.

She struggles to move her head.

“What’s wrong with her?”

Frank’s voice is more gruff than usual and Karen knows if she could see him right now she’d be able to see the rage in his eyes. But, she doesn’t need to, she can tell how he feels from his voice.

“Karen, your narrating again.” Darcy whispers in her ear, under the pretense of helping adjust Karen so she can look Frank Castle in the eye.

“What’s that, Page? You gotta speak up if you want me to hear you.” He doesn’t look particularly amused so she figures he didn’t hear her rambling.

It takes her a minute before she can get her mouth to work, “For the record. The only reason I was kidnapped is because I was outnumbered!”

She’s pretty proud that she managed to get the whole sentence out there but instead of looking relieved Frank looks pissed off. Again.

He opens his mouth but there’s a loud rushing noise in her ears and everything goes black.

* * *

When Karen manages to blink her eyes open again it looks like she’s in a hospital room.

“Here.”

Natasha is sitting next to her bed with a glass of water.

“We managed to flush the drugs from your system but you’re going to need to stay overnight for observation.”

Karen shakes her head. “Home.” She manages to croak.

“Karen, you need to stay here. We don’t know what else they did to you and our doctors have experience treating Hydra victims.”

Grimacing at the word ‘victim’ she shakes her head again.

Natasha smiles faintly. “I will restrain you if I have too.”

Karen sips her water again as she ponders this. She really wants to go home and she needs to check on Charlie and clean his litter box.

“Trish is going to take care of your kitten.”

Hmm, another mark in the Natasha Can Actually Read Minds and Doesn’t Want People to Know category.

“Frank?”

She matches the raised eyebrow with one of her own.

“He’s fine. He felt uncomfortable staying in the Tower but I have a feeling he might be back. I’ve already told the nurses to let him through.”

Nodding, Karen lets her head fall back onto the pillow as a real and natural sleep takes her over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know the Kastle fandom isn't huge but I do want to thank everyone who's commented and left kudos.  
> I'm really nervous that this fic doesn't really flow well when you read one chapter after the other all at once so any comments are welcome.


	7. The Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karen wakes up in the hospital after the kidnapping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. I've finished this fic at chapter 17 which includes some smut. Well...the level of smut I'm able to write anyway. EBK thinks I should write an epilogue but I feel a little muse dead from this fic. It's one of my longest ones I think.
> 
> Anyhow, enjoy!

Karen wakes up in the middle of the night hot, sweaty, and rather uncomfortable. When she opens her eyes, the reason for her discomfort is instantly clear: sometime while she was sleeping Darcy decided to crawl into her hospital bed, and is cuddled up against Karen’s side, head on her shoulder breathing softly.

Karen can’t explain why her eyes suddenly well up with tears, a fleeting thought about her brother crossing her mind, before she readjusts to pull Darcy close to her.

Even though she sees Trish twice as often as she sees Darcy, Karen can’t help but feel closer to the short brunette, almost a sister like bond.

Yes, that’s it. Darcy feels like the younger sister Karen never had, even though she’s really not that much younger. It seems to be the effect Darcy Lewis has on everyone, they all adore her like a sibling…well obviously except for Bucky who she’s pretty sure is head over heels for her smart-mouthed friend.

This is a kind of comfort Karen hasn’t had in a long time. She sticks her leg out from under the sheet to cool off and relaxes, allowing her head to fall softly on top of the other girl’s.

Even as relaxed as she is, Karen can’t seem to fall back asleep. Her mind isn’t racing though, which is a godsend. She drifts lazily through her thoughts and absent-mindedly begins dragging her fingers through Darcy’s hair.

She wonders if they’ve given her painkillers now that the other drugs are out of her system and if that’s why she feels so…languid. Mmm. Yes, she feels languid.

The most familiar sound in the world echoes down the hallway, but Karen doesn’t tense in the slightest hearing Frank’s footfalls. She simply opens her eyes and trains them on the door.

Still stroking Darcy’s hair, she raises her other hand to her face to put a finger in front of her lips as the door opens to reveal Frank and James.

Frank takes her all in, but Karen notices the exact moment his gaze lingers on her bruised face. His eye twitches a little and he frowns before the corner of his lips tug up in a smirk.

“If you wake her up I swear to god I’ll kick you in the nuts,” Karen whispers as she tracks James’ movement around the bed to sit in the chair closest to Darcy.

James grins at her. “You’ve been hanging around the smartass too long, Miss Page. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you threaten violence before.”

Karen just shrugs her free shoulder and narrows her eyes as he reaches out a hand to place on Darcy’s leg.

Once Frank has settled in his own chair, Karen leans back against the bed again and closes her eyes.

* * *

The next time she wakes up the sun is streaming in through the now open curtains and Natasha is standing at the foot of the bed, an empty wheelchair in front of her.

“No. Way.”

Natasha grins and slides her gaze to the other end of Karen’s room. As she follows the red-head’s look Karen barely manages to keep from laughing.

Darcy is in her own wheelchair, repeatedly running it into the James’s legs as he stands in front of her.

“Karen!” Darcy chirps seeing her friend awake, “Get in your chair and help me. I’m trying to run this loser over.”

“Hmm, well it depends on why you want to run him down.”

She’s too amused and distracted to realize that Natasha has guided her out of bed and into her own chair.

“He says I’m not allowed to go back to work.”

That makes Karen whip her head around to Natasha. “Wait, I was planning on going into work today.”

Natasha snorts. “Nice try, Маленькая мышь. I’ve already called Ellison and told him why you’ll be out.”

Karen makes a face and crosses her arms. “If I keep missing work Janet is going to steal Ben’s office out from under me and toss all of his stuff!” she protests.

A quick look flickers over Natasha’s face before she shakes her head firmly. “I won’t let that happen. Trust me. Besides, you only need to take it easy for two days and then you can be back.”

“Ugh fine...”

Stealing a glance at Darcy, she smirks a little. “Hey, I’ve just been through a deeply traumatic event-” Natasha snorts again, but Karen continues, “Am I at least allowed to drink away my problems?”

“I’d say no, but I’m aware that Jones fully supports that method and would probably sneak you something. Just don’t overdo it.”

Karen agrees and Natasha finally wheels her into the bathroom, so she can change, then down the elevator where a Stark car is waiting to take them to Karen’s apartment.

Even though she feels fine, she lets Natasha help carry her bags up to the apartment.

Opening the door, she’s greeted by an enthusiastic Charlie, a relieved looking Trish, and well she can’t really read Jessica but that’s okay.

“Thanks for taking care of Charlie for me,” she says as Trish comes over to give her a hug.

“It’s no problem, Karen. We’re just glad you’re okay. You know you’re welcome to stay at my place tonight if you need too.”

“I’ll be alright, thanks though.”

Trish squeezes Karen again before moving to talk in a low voice to Natasha. Jessica comes over and leans her head close to Karen, “I left some of the good stuff behind the coffee mugs.”

Karen grins at her as she ushers both Trish and Natasha out of the apartment, the lock clicking in place behind them. She’s not sure which of them have the spare key, but she doesn’t really mind so much.

Heading over to the couch, she plops down with a grateful sigh, and a smile as Charlie bounds up to snuggle with her.

She knows she should really put away the things in the overnight bag, but honestly she can’t be bothered.

After an hour on the couch, she gets up to check Charlie’s food and water dishes, before opening her freezer and pulling out a frozen dinner she can just pop into the oven.

As she’s waiting for it to pre-heat, Karen reaches in the cupboard and pulls out a bottle of Johnnie Walker. It’s not really her thing, but it was sweet of Jessica to leave it for her so she pours a glass and since she’s home alone makes a face as it goes down.

She’s had two tumblers of it before her dinner is ready and Karen vaguely recalls Nat telling her to keep her shit together (eh, paraphrasing but whatever) so she eats slowly, and downs a glass of water.

When she’s done she rinses the dishes, grabs the bottle, and plops back down onto the couch, content to play with Charlie using the laser pointer Trish must have left behind.

It’s actually pretty hilarious and she sends a video to Darcy before fiddling with her phone.

Suddenly, she’s opening her messages and shooting off a text to Foggy, telling him that they really need to get together and catch up and wondering if he wants to meet at Josie’s for old times’ sake.

She gets an answer pretty quickly with Foggy’s schedule and a quick line of text telling her to pick whatever day she wants followed by a string of ridiculous emojis.

Karen ends up staring at her phone for a long while, before she takes a long pull right from the bottle, and dials a number.

It connects quickly.

“Ma’am?”

It turns out Frank Castle is her drunk dial.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Маленькая мышь: Little Mouse
> 
> I'm artemisgarden over on tumblr if anyone wants to stop by!


	8. Drunk Dial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank receives a drunk phone call and goes to investigate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Many thanks to my wonderful beta EBK as always!

“ _Ma’am?”_

_Huh, it turn_ _s_ _out Frank Castle_ _is_ _her drunk dial._

* * *

 

“Frank.”

“Ma’am.”

“Frank.”

“Are you alright?”

Karen starts giggling. She can just picture the expression on Frank’s face, concern and confusion with a hint of exasperation.

“I’m just fine, Frankie!”

“Are…Ma’am, are you drunk?”

“Yep!”

“Didn’t they just let you leave the medical ward at Stark’s place?”

“Natasha said I could drink, I just can’t overdo it.”

Frank mumbles something that sounds like ‘fuckin’ Russians’ and Karen takes another pull from the bottle.

“Where’d you get the liquor anyway? Wait, let me guess…Jones?”

“Right in one!”

“Jesus, Page. How much have you had?”

“Mmmm, well it doesn’t feel like much. I don’t know, the bottle won’t stay still enough for me to tell.”

“Dammit. Alright, I’m coming over to make sure you don’t do anything stupid.”

He hangs up on her and Karen pulls her phone away from her ear, frowning and blinking at it for a minute before shrugging and letting it fall.

* * *

 

Frank Castle mutters to himself as he lets himself into Karen’s apartment only to stop dead. The woman in question is on all fours on the floor, ass pointed in his direction, torso stretched under her couch.

“Meow.”

“Yes, I’m aware that your toy is under the couch, Charlie.”

Karen leans forward a little more, stretching her hand out towards the fuzzy cat toy, and totally oblivious to Frank standing in her doorway.

“Merrrow.”

“You are aware that you can fit under this couch right? You’re really small, Charlie. I have no idea why you’re sitting there making me do all the wor—AH! Got it!”

She wiggles a little bit to get out from under the couch and sits up so she can shake the toy at her kitten before she tosses it and watches Charlie go running after it.

Frank is grinning as he finally shuts her door and Karen jumps with a yelp.

“That was an interesting view, Page. Were you talking to the cat?”

Karen glares at him from the floor and crosses her arms.

“So what if I was? Plenty of people talk to their pets.”

“Yeah, but they don’t expect the pet to talk back.”

She squawks indignantly and hurls the first thing she can reach, a shoe, at him.

Frank laughingly ducks the shoe and walks over to offer her a hand up.

Karen glares at little more before accepting his hand and hauling herself up, the alcohol rushing a little to her head. She tips forward into Frank.

“Woah there. Why don’t we sit down?”

She just nods, wobbles over to the couch to plop down on it, and reaches for the bottle sitting there.

Frank intercepts it from her grasp and sets the bottle on top of the fridge before he starts making coffee.

“Rude. I was drinking that.”

“I think you’ve had enough, Page.”

“Your face is enough,” she mutters as she leans her head back on the couch and stares up at the ceiling, wondering if she should have just text Darcy.

But no, she and James are probably spending time together after the whole kidnapping thing.

Karen gets so lost in her own thoughts that it takes her a while to realize Frank’s been standing over her, holding a mug of coffee in one hand with Charlie sitting perched on his shoulder.

She snorts. “Frank Castle, animal charmer.”

Taking the coffee from him, she sets it on her living room table, reaches for the remote and flicks on the TV as Frank gingerly sits next to her to avoid disturbing the kitten.

At this point she’s past silly drunk and mostly feels a little lethargic. She flips through the channels and stretches out a hand to pet Charlie, who is trying to chew on the short strands of Frank’s hair.

“You figure out what Charlie is yet?”

“Oh! Yeah, she’s a girl.”

“Girl named Charlie.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Karen sees him shaking his head and she glowers at him. “We’ve been through this already Frank.”

“I know, I know.”

She finds some documentary on the History channel about WWII with a bit in it about Steve and they settle in to watch in silence.

* * *

It’s been a while, a new documentary has come and gone with a third following, and Frank is pretty sure Karen’s asleep finally.

He glances over at her. She’s resting her head on a fist, eyes closed, other hand resting on Charlie, who’d come to claim her lap.

Frank spends a few minutes just studying Karen as she sits there. She’s beautiful, smart, funny, and she’s so full of fire. And sarcasm. He’s pretty sure that ever since she started spending time with Lewis there’s been an increase in the sarcasm.

But, this whole thing has been good for her, he thinks. She seems more comfortable and at ease in her skin, less prone to jumping out of it when startled, and more confident now.

He can feel his mind wandering down a path he shouldn’t let it and Frank sighs, stands up and stretches. He’s getting ready to go when she speaks up suddenly, not asleep after all.

“Why’d you leave?”

Frank turns and pins her with that look, the one that’s almost familiar to Karen. He doesn’t say anything for a few minutes and she stands, a little unsteadily, to face him.

And then finally, he speaks.

“It’s a difficult thing to realize you’re falling in love with someone before you’ve finished mourning the family you’ve just lost. You and my family, you both deserved better than that.”

Karen’s mouth is hanging open and she’s not sure what to say, if there’s anything to say, but it doesn’t seem like Frank wants her to say anything at all.

“Goodnight ma’am.”

He closes the door softly behind himself and when she hears the lock click, Karen sinks to her knees on the floor.


	9. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of I love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks for reading and thanks to EBK for editing!
> 
> Hope everyone has a great Halloween!

Karen sighs as she unlocks the door to Ben's...no her office. Sure, Natasha had told her to stay home but she wasn't about to let one of the other writers show her up and make a play for this office.

She's been a no-show enough recently, and even though she KNOWS Ellison understands, it grates on her nerves. So she's here and she's working and no one can stop her.

It hasn’t even been five minutes before Ellison pops his head in the door.

“I thought you were supposed to be on bed rest.”

Karen glares at him.

“I had a phone call. Bodily harm was threatened if I didn’t send you home.”

Karen continues to glare, not looking away from him even as she opens her laptop and pulls her notes out of her bag.

“Jesus, Page. You were kidnapped for god sakes.”

“Not the first time,” she mutters.

Ellison sighs and scrubs a hand over his face. Maybe his wife is right, maybe he’s too old for this shit.

“Fine, whatever. Don’t come crying to me when the scary Russian assassin drags you out by your hair.”

More glaring.

Ellison shakes his head and pulls his head back from the doorway. Karen is just typing in her password as he pops it back in. “Glad you’re okay.” Then he’s gone, leaving her to work.

Karen knows she’s being petulant but she just wants to finish this damn article and move on with her life.

Well, not move on exactly, but there are other stories calling her name and she can’t just shirk her responsibilities.

Sighing, she drops her head and groans. Maybe she should have stayed home, but if she’d done that, she would have just been sitting there thinking about what Frank said last night.

He was in love with her? Or falling in love with her? Since when?

She knows she has feelings for Frank. She’d come to terms with it in the six months he’d been gone; despite what he’d said about Matt, it was him she wanted to grab onto and never let go of.

But she’d never thought, with what had happened to his family, he’d ever be able to feel the same.

And now, hearing that he did, or was starting too, Karen wasn’t sure what to think. Or do. Or say.

“Uggh.”

Just then, the phone in her office rang. Karen can’t remember getting an office phone but she picks it up.

“Hello?” she mumbles. Way to be professional.

“I hate you.”

“Hi Darcy.”

“Jane threatened to sit on me if I tried to go to work today.”

“That...doesn’t sound like a threat?”

“I know. Thor said he’d help.”

“Yeah well, Frank Castle told me he’s falling in love with me then left me alone, drunk, in my apartment.”

There’s at least a solid two minutes of silence on the other end.

“Shit. You win?”

“Yay me.” Karen halfheartedly waves her free hand around even though no one can see her.

“Wanna have lunch?”

“Meh,” Karen grunts. “I was going to try and actually work for once. That bitch who does the fluff pieces has been eyeing this office and I’ll be damned if I lose it for not being at work.”

“Well, after lunch Bucky has to have work done on his arm. You can actually do the interview with him and start editing it.”

Karen brightens. “So I’ll basically have an entire half hour where he can’t try to leave on me?”

“Yep!”

“See you at 11:30.”

She hangs up and spends the next few hours editing the article into submission before she sends what she’s got to Ellison, shoves her laptop into the locking drawer in the desk, and gets the rest of her stuff together.

A few minutes later, after telling Ellison that she’s finally getting the interview, Karen is walking down the steps to the subway to meet Darcy.

* * *

  


Frank

The minute Frank is out of sight of Karen’s building he stops to lean against a wall.

Damn it.

He never meant to blurt that out. Jesus, it was like he’d reverted back to the man he’d been before Maria, stupid and prone to saying whatever came to mind.

His heart clenches at the thought of his wife, but it doesn’t hurt as much as it used too.

Sighing, he pushes off the wall and heads back to the small apartment he’s been staying in.

He’s jumped the second he walks in the door: Lucky is as always ecstatic to see him. Bouncing around and wagging his tail so fast Frank sometimes worries his ass is just going to fly off.

“Hey bud.”

For once he’s glad he doesn’t have anything to do with the rest of his night. He shucks his clothes off and gets into the lukewarm water to shower.

He can’t stop thinking about Karen and her face when he said what he did.

She looked confused and a little more than hopeful.

Always so easy to read, always so eager to believe in him, to think the best of him.

It’s only a little ridiculous how easy he can pull her face up when he closes his eyes: her strawberry blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, and that smile. The one she reserves for him, like he’s made her happier than she thought she could be.

It takes Frank a good minute to realize that he’s actually wrapped his hand around his dick and when he does he scowls.

He doesn’t need to be jerking off to thoughts of Karen Page in the shower like a fucking teenager.

Turning the handle to blast freezing water on him, Frank hurries through the rest of his shower before getting out.

Lucky has already settled down on his spot on the mattress sitting on the floor, when he puts on boxers and joins the dog.

After a minute, he pulls the picture of his family out from under his pillow.

He strokes the faces of his wife and children and just stares for longer than he knows.

It’s been less than a year. Frank isn’t sure he’s ready to love anyone again. He isn’t sure if he even deserves to have love again.

Frank closes his eyes and wonders if the cops will have lessened the rotation of people guarding their graves.

He wants to bring Maria some flowers, something that’s in bloom and beautiful.

Something he didn’t do often enough when she was still alive.

He puts the picture back under his pillow and rolls over to try and sleep, though his mind is occupied for a while thinking about the best route by Karen’s office.

There’s not a doubt in his mind she’ll be at work and he wonders if Jones will have started tailing her again after the kidnapping.

Frank Castle falls asleep with his thoughts switching back and forth from his family to Karen. He doesn’t have any nightmares that night, almost like the four of them are standing guard around his dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, if you check my author page at all ever you'll notice a new Kastle fic. I participated in the KastleHalloween hosted by EBK over on tumblr! You guy should go forth and look at that collection! A whole lot of new Kastle to read and enjoy!


	10. The Interview...and Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karen has lunch with Darcy, interviews James, and has a dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the day late posting but apparently I've gotten the cold that won't die. I've had it for a week now and I'm finally feeling like this /might/ be the end of it!! Please send me good thoughts cause I'm really effing tired of being sick.
> 
> As always thanks to EBK for her beta help with this story. I'd probably still be stuck on certain chapters without her.

“You look tired.”

Karen glares at the shorter woman walking beside her.

She and Darcy had just spent the last hour eating lunch in Darcy’s office, both of them working at the same time, and halfheartedly discussing Karen’s situation with Frank.

Karen had also noticed a new picture frame adorning Darcy’s desk, with a cute picture of Darcy and Bucky in it.

“Yeah, that’s what happens when you feel like you haven’t slept in a year.”

Darcy snorts and they walk into the already open doors of the elevator.

“Tony’s labs please, JARVIS.”

The women don’t speak as the elevator ascends the floors.

Karen is actually pretty grateful this article will be ending soon, she didn’t realize how time consuming profile pieces could be.

The elevator comes to a stop and the doors swish open; Karen follows Darcy down the short hall and through a large glass door.

There’s music blaring loudly, and she can’t help but grin as she identifies the sounds of Black Sabbath.

James looks up at their entry and he tries to conceal a grimace...He fails.

“Can’t run forever, Buck-aroo,” Darcy says as she plops down onto the stool next to Tony, startling the man as JARVIS cuts the music.

Karen doesn’t bother sitting. Instead she leans back against a work table and gives James a smile.

“It won’t take long, I promise,” she says, pulling a recorder out of her bag and clicking it on.

He dips his head slightly and she begins, asking him about his childhood first.

She asks questions about his life pre and post Steve Rogers and finds that it was infinitely more exciting and dangerous after James Barnes met the little slip of a child named Steven Grant Rogers.

They move on, while Darcy and Tony converse quietly in the background (a first for Tony, she thinks), to his teenage years, and the years right after he was drafted.

Karen won’t use everything but getting this much information is always good, she can sort through the best parts later.

He grows more tense and wary as they approach the topic of his captivity during his time in the 107th but she can’t help but laugh as he recounts Steve’s rescue.

 

“ _I thought you were shorter.”_

“ _I joined the Army.”_

 

She doesn’t really probe about the missions he was sent on for Hydra, just asks if he can remember any feelings, her blood chilling just a little as he shakes his head and tells her he wasn’t allowed to have any.

She focuses a little on his fight with Steve in DC and how he felt in the aftermath, how he’s feeling now.

It’s closer to an hour than half and Karen decides to wrap it up, asking how he’s been recently.

James tells her about his conflicting emotions, that he’s going to therapy, and how it doesn’t really stop the nightmares, how there’s only one thing in his world right now that can usually ground him, focus him, and bring him back, no matter how far gone he is.

Karen knows that the readers will assume that it’s Steve, or Captain America to them, that is the only thing that can calm the Winter Soldier and bring him out of a bloody haze, but Karen Page knows that it’s not it. Not even close.

She knows because she’s sitting there, watching him as his eyes track over to Darcy, and never leave her as he tells Karen how he’s doing in the here and now.

Karen knows that James Barnes thinks Darcy Lewis is his savior, that his world rests entirely in the hands of a smart-mouthed brunette, and Karen knows that he wouldn’t have it any other way.

She has to click off the recorder and jam it back in her purse as a distraction before she starts to cry.

The article is the only thing she’s thinking about as Darcy walks her back to the elevator and says she’ll go with her to the subway stop.

 

That’s it.

 

Just the article.

 

Not Frank Castle.

 

Not at all.

 

Not the man who hasn’t had it as bad as the Winter Soldier, but in her book it’s a close thing.

She’s not focusing on that at all, she’s most definitely editing the article in her head as she heads back to The Bulletin.

Karen scoffs at herself, as she opens the door to her office once again.

Pulling out her laptop and spreading her pages of notes finally does pull her attention away from her circling thoughts, and she sets to work.

* * *

 

As it usually does, the actual task of writing the article sucks her in with no chance of letting go.

Vaguely Karen acknowledges that everyone else has gone home and Ellison has stuck his head in three times in...well she’s not keeping track of time but they’ve been close together and she knows he won’t leave until she does but she’s on a roll.

Some part of her wonders how his wife copes with it but she bats the thought away to be considered later.

When the knock on her office door comes, rather loudly, Karen jumps about a foot. She’s used to Ellison just popping in and talking, not knocking.

She’s just as surprised that Jessica’s the one who comes through the door and stands there giving her a look.

Karen sighs.

“Yeah, I’m coming.”

“Good, you’ve got a cat to take care of, you know.”

“Shit.”

She packs her things hurriedly, cursing herself all the while for forgetting about Charlie.

It’s almost 1:30 in the morning, waaay past the cat’s dinner time.

Jessica follows her out of the office and shoves her into a cab, getting in behind her.

Suddenly, the sensation of being exhausted slams into Karen and she groans.

“That’s what happens when you disobey medical orders.”

An eyebrow lifts and Jessica scoffs.

“I’ve been doing it longer than you. Plus, I’m a super-something remember?”

The ride to her apartment is short and Jessica doesn’t follow her in.

Karen finds herself, once again, grumbling curses about her shoes and the dirty hallway; she fumbles with her keys for a minute before getting her door open.

She stumbles in and drops her things, kicks off her shoes, and shuts the door.

Charlie is already sitting at her food dish, but it’s actually full. Karen sees Frank before she even has time to register surprise.

She makes a noise at him and shuffles to the bathroom to take off her make-up and change.

Comings out of the bathroom again, she mutters something that could be ‘Thanks” but she’s not positive. Every step is a little ridiculous and it feels like there might be lead weights attached to her feet.

Karen collapses on her bed, spends a few minutes shuffling around to get under the covers, and drops off to sleep quickly, none the wiser that Frank Castle is now standing, next to her couch, his mouth slightly open.

Frank blinks a few times.

He’s never seen Karen in zombie mode like that before He could have been pointing a gun at her and he’s pretty sure she wouldn’t have noticed or cared.

He snorts.

“That’s what she gets for going into work anyway and overdoing it.”

He’s talking out loud to himself, of course. He absolutely isn’t talking to the cat.

Now he’s a little unsure of what to do. Originally, and with his dead wife’s voice ringing in his ears, he was going to man up and talk to Karen about what he said.

That’s obviously not going to happen and he doesn’t think he should really stay and see if she wakes up.

Frank sighs and moves into the kitchen, he’d brought dinner over and he starts to put it back in the container so he can stick it in her fridge.

After he cleans up after himself, he spends a few minutes petting Charlie, and decides he’ll leave her a note so she knows about the food.

It doesn’t take long to find blank paper and a pen, but as he’s writing the note he hears a noise. It’s faint but after a second there’s another sharp intake of breath and he moves towards Karen’s bedroom.

He nudges the door open a little further and sees her there, not fully under the covers and she gasps again.

“Ma’am?”

The sounds change and Karen lets out a low groan, something that Frank hasn’t heard in a long time.

She moans again.

“Shit.”

Karen’s having a damn sex dream.

His face doesn’t heat up in the slightest and even if it did he wouldn’t admit it.

Alright, it’s time for him to go.

Frank is pulling the door shut softly when Karen moans again.

“Frank. Oh god, Frank.”

He freezes in place, stunned, eyes wide.

Karen Page is having a sex dream about him.

Double shit.

He ignores the rush of heat he feels and leaves the door, moving to grab his stuff he heads for the front door and is almost out of her apartment when he hears her say his name again.

He shuts the door with more force than he meant to, locks it, and takes off out of the building like it’s on fire.

Whatever plans he’d had for the night are now shot to shit and he’s pretty sure at least one guy is going to make his flight.

Frank is sure he could somehow turn this into more fuel for his rage, but he’s not thinking straight right now; maybe he never was but this seems to be worse.

So Frank Castle flees to shit hole apartment, totally unsettled and aroused at the thought of Karen Page dreaming about him naked.

 

Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Come say Hi! ](http://www.artemisgarden.tumblr.com)


	11. Monsters Deserve Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karen finished the article, moves again, and is unaware that Frank's being "creepy".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone welcome back! I hope you all had a good weekend and the brightens up your monday!
> 
> Eternal thanks to EBK for being an amazing beta. I remember the lulz we had writing this chapter

Karen drifts slowly back into consciousness and yawns when she wakes up.

A glance at her alarm clock shows that it’s almost nine am but considering how late she went to bed, she’s fine with the hour.

Then, she freezes.

She remembers coming home and seeing Charlie eating, but where had her food come from?

Leaning over, she grabs a robe off the floor and slips it on before quietly walking out of her bedroom.

Her apartment is empty and she relaxes when she sees a note on her counter in familiar scrawl.

Frank’s note mentions food in the fridge but it cuts off and she wonders if he had to leave in a hurry.

Probably some Punisher thing, she thinks and grabs the leftovers.

Charlie joins her on the couch and she feeds the little cat some chicken pieces as she turns on the TV. There’s not much on at this hour but she likes the background noise as she eats.

When she’s done she grabs her phone from her bag, settles back onto the couch and sends Frank a text to make sure he’s okay.

She doesn’t expect a reply. He’s probably asleep still since he stays out so late, so she sets the phone on the arm of the couch and grabs her laptop.

It only takes her an hour to finish the article and when she sends it to Ellison it feels like some kind of weight has been lifted off her shoulders.

She sends Ellison a text and says since it’s Friday she’ll actually take that time off and come in on Monday, but he can send her the article for whatever editing he thinks it might need.

She’s surprised when her phone chimes with a text from Frank informing her he’s fine, but he didn’t sleep much.

Briefly, she considers inviting him over, but changes her mind. He probably needs space because Karen knows she sure as hell hasn’t fully wrapped her brain around what he said.

They’ll need to talk about it eventually; his words will just hang in the air between them if they don’t.

It’s not something he can take back or something she can forget.

Karen sighs.

Why does everything have to be so complicated?

Frank turns down her dinner invitation for Saturday and so she spends the weekend alone.

The article is printed Monday morning and suddenly Karen is pulled into a whirlwind.

She’s invited to lunch with Pepper again, who tells Karen that as a bonus for the article, there’s an apartment in Darcy’s building for her to move into.

Karen is stunned. She protests, practically stuttering her refusal and how it’s all too much.

“Karen.”

There’s a seriousness to Darcy’s tone that makes Karen’s mouth snap shut, she doesn’t even question when Darcy came into the room.

“There’s two reasons for this. First, we’ve heard your name in some chatter.”

“Chatter?”

Darcy sighs. “Someone told Jessica that people are watching you.”

“How is that different than usual?”

“Well, these people who are watching you might be thinking about putting a hit out on you.”

It must be the matter-of-fact way she says it that has Karen choking on her water.

They wait for her to recover before Darcy tells her the second part. “Tony Stark is a nut job who likes collecting people.”

Karen snorts and glances over at Pepper who’s smiling fondly.

“That might have a little truth to it,” she admits. “Tony owns the building, so it’s perfectly safe, and the records are sealed with Jarvis, so no one can just look up your lease.”

“Just say yes. Or I’ll have Jessica break into your new place and move your stuff while you’re at work.”

 

Karen says yes.

 

There’s a celebratory dinner. Foggy shows up, Matt doesn’t and she’s not surprised or even disappointed.

Jessica actually does end up helping her move and Karen finds herself wondering how this all happened.

Everything is a blur of movement and motion and writing, but it’s not like she hasn’t noticed that Frank won’t return her messages, that she hasn’t seen him in almost two weeks.

* * *

Frank sits on the roof of the building across the alley from Karen’s new place. He’s not avoiding her...not exactly, but there was this human trafficking ring that came through that specialized in teenage girls, and he couldn’t let that stand.

The whole thing put him in a bad place and the night before he’d literally slept in front of his family’s graves, Lucky’s lead wrapped around a tree so the dog wouldn’t wonder off on him.

So, he hadn’t really been ignoring Karen, he knew all about her second job and her new place. He just hasn’t been making much of an effort to get back to her is all.

“I think women consider this creepy now-a-days.”

The voice next to him startles the shit out of him, and the only reason he doesn’t blow off the Winter Soldier’s head is because Barnes is faster...and was probably expecting the reaction.

Despite the fact that he’s wearing black jeans and a simple t-shirt, he divests himself of two guns and a knife so he can sit comfortably next to Frank.

“Creepy, eh?”

“Yeah, Darcy said something about not needing to be watched, how she can take care of herself. Usual stuff.”

“That ever stop you?”

“Nope. I camped up here for two weeks when she first moved in.”

Frank makes a noncommittal noise and turns back to the building. From here he can see into the window in Karen’s new living room. Her bedroom is on the other side, and it’s got a great view, or so she’d said in a text.

He can see Karen and Darcy sitting on her couch, the same one from her last place, talking animatedly while they’re watching TV.

“Lewis live on the same floor?”

“Two up.”

Frank grunts again before falling silent. If it were anyone else in the world he would think they were waiting for small talk, but Barnes seems to be a man of few words himself so they sit in silence, trading a flask back and forth.

They sit quietly for almost an hour watching the two women in the apartment, alert for anything else that may be nearby.

Frank straightens a little and hears his back pop. “You got anything left in that flask?”

He turns but the spot next to him is empty and when he turns around he can see Darcy opening the door, bidding Karen a goodbye, and leaving with Barnes.

He sighs and decides he needs to head back to the shithole he’s occupying when he spots a little scrap of paper.

 

_Monsters deserve love too, or so I’ve been told. Repeatedly and at a volume that would make you want to head the other way._

 

Snorting Frank shoves the paper into a pocket before gathering the rest of his stuff and heading to the fire escape.

When he hits the street, he glances up to see her curtains have been closed, and his phone goes off again.

“Goodnight Frank. Give Lucky a kiss for me.”

He hesitates for a second before shooting off a quick, “Goodnight, Ma’am.” and turns back towards Hell’s Kitchen.


	12. Tacking mud and bleeding on couches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Frank Castle, didn’t your wife teach you it’s not polite to track mud into someone’s house and bleed on their couch?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooo another Monday another post!
> 
> I hope you all enjoy it!

The next time Karen sees Frank is a month later. It’s storming outside and she’s sitting curled up in the window seat (that she’s still having trouble believing is not only real, but hers) with a mug of coffee.

Fall is one of her favorite seasons and it’s blowing in with the storm.

She startles a little when the buzzer by her door sounds, still not used to the noise. Karen sets her mug down on the island in her kitchen and reaches the buzzer just as it goes off again.

“Yes?”

“Ma’am.”

“Frank? Is everything okay?”

It sounds like he grunts and she’s not sure if it’s in exasperation or pain.

“Can I come up?

“Sure, yes, of course.”

She pushes the little button to unlock the front door and is glad that there’s only a guard during the day. She has no idea if he’d let Frank up, depending on how he looks.

While she’s waiting (will he take the elevator or stairs?) she starts on a fresh pot of coffee and gets another mug out for him.

A few minutes later (elevator then) there’s a soft knock on the door.

Karen stands on tiptoe to look out the peephole.

Frank is on the other side, his ball cap pulled low, but not enough to hide his face from her. When she opens the door she notices that he’s clutching his side.

He stumbles into her new apartment and stops for a second to look around.

“Nice digs.”

“Frank, are you okay? What happened?”

“Got shot,” he grunts and unceremoniously clomps his way over to her couch and drops down onto it.

Her eyes narrow at him and she puts her hands on her hips.

“Frank Castle, didn’t your wife teach you it’s not polite to track mud into someone’s house and bleed on their couch?”

Almost as soon as the words are out of her mouth she wishes she could take them back. What was she thinking, joking about his wife like that?

The little smile on his face belies the pain in his eyes and he winces.

“I’m not sure that the topic ever came up. But, I’m sure if it did Maria would be standing there the same way you are now.”

Karen’s eyes widen in surprise at his response and she grins at him.

“Alright, first boots, then I’ll take a look at your side.”

She walks over to him and drops down to start unlacing his boots, swatting his hands away when he makes a move to help.

* * *

Well, fuck.

Frank is standing over a body in an alley wincing with pain and getting more soaked every second.

He wasn’t expecting this guy to have backup or the backup to have a gun. Nobody’s going to miss either of these scumbags, but he’s silently bemoaning the loss of whatever information this guy had.

Sure, he can find it somewhere else, but that’ll take up more time.

Looking at his stomach he sees a hole in his shirt and blood is slowly starting to seep through it.

Leaning down, he pulls out a knife and cuts a swath of the dead guy’s shirt off and wads it up to stick against his side. He pulls a ball cap out of the pocket of his long jacket and crams it on his head.

Sighing, he turns and heads out of the alley intending to turn and head back to his place.

Out of the corner of his eye he thinks he sees something red flash across the rooftops and he grunts.

Red.

_You’re just one bad day away from being me_

Somehow that single sentence seems to repeat in Frank’s mind and he’s totally lost remembering the things he’d said.

His feet don’t seem to notice his distraction and they pull him along. Only a crack of lightening jerks him from his thoughts and when he looks up he’s not even close to home.

He’s standing in front of Karen’s new building and he’s not really surprised.

Walking up to the door he looks at the metal panel on the wall with the buttons to call each apartment on it.

There’s a moment where he considers just pressing all of them and seeing if anyone will just let him in. That usually works in cop shows, right?

Snorting at himself Frank presses the buzzer for Karen’s apartment, while refusing to acknowledge to himself how he knows exactly which button to push.

Sure he knows where her apartment is from the roof across the way but he’s busy pretending he didn’t scope out the whole place and figure out the number.

He’s pressing the bell again when she answers with a hesitant, “Hello?”

“Ma’am.”

“Frank? Is everything okay?”

Her voice saying his name sends a shock through him and Frank presses a little too sharply on his side, drawing out a grunt of pain.

“Can I come up?”

He wonders for a second if she’ll ask how he knows which apartment is hers, but she doesn’t.

“Sure, yes, of course.”

She presses the buzzer and the door clicks to admit him.

The empty guard desk has him sighing in relief and he heads to the elevator, too tired to bother with the stairs.

It doesn’t take long to get to her floor or find her door and when he knocks softly he thinks he can hear her on the other side of it before it swings open to admit him.

Stumbling in, he looks around and takes a second to be pretty impressed with the place.

“Nice digs.”

“Frank, are you okay? What happened?”

“Got shot,” he grunts before heading over to the couch and dropping down onto it with a slight sigh of relief.

“Frank Castle,” he looks up and see Karen standing there with her hands on her hips. “Didn’t your wife teach you it’s not polite to track mud into someone’s house and bleed on their couch?”

Even as the pain hits him right where he thinks his heart should be he can see her wincing and wanting to take back the words.

He offers her a little smile.

“I’m not sure that the topic ever came up. But, I’m sure if it did Maria would be standing there the same way you are now.”

Her eyes widen in surprise and she smiles at him again before walking over and dropping to her knees.

“Alright, first boots, then I’ll take a look at your side.”

Reaching out a hand in an effort to help earns him a swat to said hand and he leans back against the couch.

Thunder crashes and lightning illuminates the sky outside and the apartment.

Suddenly, like the lightning kick started his brain, Frank looks down at Karen.

She’s on her knees in between his legs with her head bent, focused on getting his boots off.

Shit.

Karen Page is sitting between his legs while he’s on her couch.

Viciously, he presses harder than necessary on his side to ignite a flair of pain.

He does not need to be getting an erection right now, damnit.

No matter how much he enjoys the sight.

In the depths of his mind he can hear the echo of Maria’s laughter as she’s teasing him. It’s like she’s really there, whispering in his ear and calling him a pansy for not making a move.

In his head he reminds his wife, that he has a fucking bullet wound in his side and he should probably take care of that before thinking about his dick.

He can practically see her rolling her eyes and shrugging at him as if to say, Whatever, Frank. Something she said a lot.

Karen gets one boot off and he pulls himself out of his head. Maria isn’t around to tear out his heart anymore, but apparently that’s not going to stop her from doing it.

Frank opens his eyes and glances down at Karen only to see her looking up at him through her lashes as she finally gets his other boot off.

Shit.


	13. Stay the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karen hustles Frank into the shower and calls Jessica to bring him clean clothes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I wanted to post another chapter this week! In the spirit of Thanksgiving I wanted to say how thankful I am for each and every person that reads this and takes a few seconds to leave kudos or a review! It really means a lot to me :)  
> Hope everyone in the US has a great thanksgiving tomorrow and for everyone else have a great Thursday!
> 
> As always thanks to EBK for all your hard beta work! <3

It takes her a minute, but Karen finally gets Frank’s boot off.

He’s muttering to himself and she peeks up at him only to be caught looking.

“Shit.”

She snickers because she doesn’t think he realizes that he said that out loud. He grimaces, and Karen stands up.

“Alright coat and shirt off.”

Frank stares at her.

“Do you want my help or not?”

He nods slowly, like he’s not entirely sure but doesn’t know what to do with bossy Karen. She fights to keep a smile off her face.

“Okay, the coat and shirt off.”

Maybe it’s the tone of her voice, more commanding than she’s ever used around him before, but he stands up and shrugs out of the coat.

Karen takes it from him and drapes it on the arm of the couch.

The shirt comes off next and she’s surprised he’s not wearing kevlar under it or over it or however it is that he puts the Punisher outfit together.

It’s just a plain black shirt with the skull logo on it and she takes it from him and drops it into the washer that’s tucked into a linen closet. (And yes, she’s still gushing and freaking out that she has a washer and dryer IN her apartment. Sometimes she’s not convinced she’s even still in New York.)

“C’mon, lets go to the bathroom.”

She bypasses the tiny half-bath for guests and heads towards her room. It’s gotten darker in the short time Frank’s been here and she flips a light on before moving to close the curtains on her huge windows.

Frank comes after her slowly, taking his time to look around the place.

“Didn’t know you could find a place like this in New York on a journalist salary.”

It comes out a little sharper than he intended but Karen just smiles at him again.

“Well, we just have to thank Tony Stark for having severe PTSD and throwing money at his problems instead of talking to a shrink. I only have to pay utilities.”

She moves into the bathroom, pulls the shower curtain aside, and turns the tap on.

Frank drops his weight onto the closed lid of her toilet and just looks at her for a minute.

When she turns around that expression is back on his face but she ignores it in favor of pushing Frank so that’s he’s leaning to one side so she can take a few pictures of his wound to send to Claire.

“I can handle it.”

So, you just came for the company?”

He grunts. Apparently that’s the majority of his conversational skills recently.

“Look, if Claire says it needs stitches you can do it yourself. I mean, it doesn’t look that bad to me but I’m not an expert. You need to get clean at least so if it’s stitches you can just use a washcloth and have at it. But, if it just needs something to pull it together you can shower first, okay.”

Her phone chimes and she glances down at it before holding it up for his inspection.

“See, Nurse Temple says it’s just a minor wound and you’re fine to shower.”

Standing, she switches the water from the tap to the shower head and draws the shower curtain closed again.

“I’ll be outside when you’re done.”

Karen doesn’t even give him a second to protest before leaving him behind in the bathroom.

She grabs a towel from the shelf above the dryer and gets to work on drying her couch from where Frank soaked it.

* * *

Frank blinks at the closed bathroom door and slowly turns his head towards the shower.

Huh.

He wonders if Karen will yell at him if he doesn’t get into it and after a minute decides she will.

So, he removes his pants, boxers, and socks to climb into the hot water.

It relaxes him pretty quick. With the lack of hot water at his safe house, it’s been a while since he’s had a nice hot shower.

It’s not until he’s reaching for her shampoo that he stops to wonder what he’s going to put on when he’s done and he curses.

Sticking his head around the curtain he sees his wet clothes are gone and he sighs, dropping his head against the shower wall with a thump.

Karen Page is probably going to kill him. He’s going to die and when he gets to the afterlife his wife will be there waiting to making fun of him.

The thought of his family waiting for him makes Frank smile. He’ll never get rid of the guilt, the doubt, the little mantra of “it’s all my fault,” but he’s slowly starting to think that they might be willing to forgive him eventually.

He doesn’t even realize he’s crying silently, the tears mixing with the hot water.

Frank gives himself a minute before he shakes his head and continues to shower.

There are voices outside the bathroom and he wonders if Karen turned on the TV to watch after he finishes.

Glancing down he checks the wound on his side. It’s more of a large cut really. Nurse Temple (he snorts) was right. Won’t need stitches; it didn’t even bleed that badly and what’s another chunk missing from his skin?

He finally switches the water off and pulls the fluffy gray towel off the rack to dry off.

Wiping the steam from the mirror, Frank contemplates stealing one of Karen’s razors to shave but decides a little stubble won’t kill him.

Opening the door, he’s nearly knocked over by a familiar gray blur and he struggles to keep the towel in place as Lucky bounces around excitedly.

* * *

The knock on the door makes Karen sigh in relief and she opens it to find Jessica on the other side, a slightly damp bag of Frank’s clothes in one hand and a leash in the other.

Karen blinks for a second before standing aside to let Jessica and the suspiciously dry dog into her home.

There’s a minute of silence as Jessica dumps Frank’s new clothes in the dryer to get rid of the dampness and turns to face Karen, who’s kneeling on the floor petting Lucky.

“Jessica?” Karen’s voice is sweet as sugar and Jessica’s eyes narrow. “Did you carry the dog over here?”

Jessica doesn’t say anything, just crosses her arms.

It’s then that Charlie makes her first appearance of the night. She’d been napping in the guest room sink, and when she spots Lucky she freezes.

Karen just barely manages to tighten her grip on Lucky’s collar to stop him trampling her cat in his excitement.

Charlie slowly stalks over to Lucky and stops just short of him being able to reach her with his tongue. She lifts a paw, bats Lucky’s nose a few times, before meowing at him, and stalking over to jump onto the counter and from there the top of the refrigerator.

Karen bursts into laughter at Lucky’s disappointed whine.

Jessica rolls her eyes and gives Lucky a pat on the head on her way out.

Karen laughs again and un-clips Lucky’s leash. It’s a good thing too, because he bolts into the bedroom towards the bathroom door the second it opens and suddenly Frank is on the floor making a good effort to pet his dog and keep his towel on at the same time.

It’s been a while since she’s laughed this hard and she doesn’t stop as she moves to the dryer to grab Frank’s clean clothes.

“Alright Lucky, Jesus.” Frank finally shoves the dog off him and slowly stands to face Karen. She’s holding out clean clothes...his clean clothes.

Taking a deep breath, she manages to calm down.

“Jessica brought them over.”

Frank glances between the warm dry clothes and his dog.

“Did she carry him?”

That sets Karen off again and she shoves his clothes at him, telling him in between gasps that there’s a first aid kit under the sink.

She manages to distract Lucky long enough for Frank to go back into the bathroom and shut the door.

Once he does, she turns to the kitchen, intent on starting dinner. She’s not the least bit surprised that the dog follows her. He sits near her feet, and tries his best to look like an angel.

Like his master...he fails just a little bit.

When Frank emerges from the bedroom in clean clothes he has to stop and stare...just for a minute.

Karen is holding a piece of meat in the air, Lucky is standing on his back legs, his front paws folded neatly, and Charlie is crouched down on top of the fridge. He can’t tell if she’s annoyed or thinking of pouncing for the meat.

Karen tosses the meat and Lucky snaps it out of the air before dropping back to the ground.

“I didn’t know Lucky could do tricks.”

Frank continues into the kitchen and pets his dog’s head.

“I didn’t either.”

“I made sandwiches. C’mon, lets go see what’s on tv.”

Frank and Lucky follow her obediently to the couch and they all sit.

Karen eventually convinces Frank that the weather’s too bad for him to leave and he just needs to stay with her for the night.

She ends up falling asleep on him and he doesn’t have the heart to move her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Come visit! ](http://www.artemisgarden.tumblr.com)


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank gets injured and Karen panics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I couldn't come up with a title for this chapter. Sorry guys. I hope you enjoy it though!

Karen’s not really sure how it happens, but as fall fades away to winter she notices that she’s acquired more and more things belonging to one Frank Castle in her bedroom.

Including Lucky.

Which would have been a problem in her previous apartments and was almost a problem in this one except for the wonderful, magnificent, stunning (OKAY Bucky, we get it) James Barnes.

He doesn’t go out on Avenger’s missions and he loves animals, so while Karen’s at work and Frank’s...out doing what he does, James will come over and play with Charlie for a little while, and then take Lucky out on a walk.

He says it helps with his therapy.

Karen’s not going to argue.

It’s late on a Tuesday night when she has a sudden realization that the Punisher has practically moved into her second bedroom and she’s very okay with that. More than just okay with it, actually.

She’ll probably never approve of what he does, but she really does understand it and she’s not going to ask him to stop. At least not until he’s ready, and she’s accepted that he might never be ready.

They never really talked about what he said all those months ago, but it turned out that they didn’t need to.

Karen knows that he’ll never forgive himself for what happened to his family. That’s something he doesn’t know that she really understands, and she knows all about the guilt and the rage he keeps with him.

She also knows that she can’t replace his family- she doesn’t want to either. But, she doesn’t want to let him go, even if that means he loves her but isn’t ready to be in love with her.

She’ll stay with him. Because that’s what you do when you love someone.

As usual, she’s the last one left in the office and Karen shakes herself out of her thoughts so she can start packing up to leave.

Thinking so much about Frank has brought her attention to the fact that she hasn’t heard from him in a few days.

Two months ago, this wouldn’t have been something she thought twice about, but they’ve both been working on something dangerous, something that she’s sure has something to do with Fisk (and damn the fact that he’s in jail, she’s not stupid: she knows who’s really running that place) and they’ve been keeping in contact every day. Even if it’s only a quick ‘I’m alive’ check in.

Jessica doesn’t seem to worried, judging by the fact that she hangs up on Karen, but the odd feeling persists so she calls Trish.

Trish manages to bully Jessica into meeting Karen and taking her to Frank’s hideout.

It’s a good thing, because when they finally get in the door the first thing they see is Frank. He’s lying in the middle of the dirty floor, a small puddle of semi-dried blood around him and he’s gasping for air.

“Frank!”

It feels like there’s ice in her veins as she hurries across the floor to check on him while Jessica checks the rest of the space for threats.

“Frank. Frank. Can you hear me?”

He doesn’t respond, doesn’t open his eyes and Karen curses, pulling her phone out of her purse and fumbling with it for a minute.

When Claire answers the phone Karen is practically screaming at her and Jessica snatches away.

Karen can hear snippets over her pounding heart things like, “it’s a shithole, worse than my place” and “could cause infection”. She’s stroking Frank’s hair and trying to make soothing noises through her tears.

She’s surprised when Jessica tosses a ratty blanket over him and scoops him up like he’s a doll.

Karen follows and is relieved to see Trish’s car waiting outside, Claire already in it.

They squeeze into the backseat and the decision is made to go to Karen’s apartment because it’s closest and the security will be gone.

Karen manages to text Darcy while Claire barks orders at Jessica.

When they get to Karen’s building, James is there, holding the door open for them with Darcy standing in the door of the waiting elevator.

There’s a mention of taking him to the Avenger’s tower since the medical staff there answers only to Tony and Pepper but Claire vetoes that until she can get him stabilized, although Karen is pretty sure she hears Claire muttering something about someone finally having common sense and she makes a mental note to see if Pepper will hire Claire.

She can be a nurse to the vigilantes and finally get paid for it.

Claire snorts and eyes her. “Sounds like my dream job.”

Oh. She must be thinking out loud again, she thinks as she opens the door to the apartment. James grabs Lucky before he can jump on anyone and make the situation worse and says he’s going to take him to Darcy’s place.

Jessica puts Frank on the couch and helps Claire take off his jacket and shirt.

When they finally get the shirt off, Karen almost vomits at the sight of the huge gash on his torso. It completely ripped open the bullet wound and goes to his stomach.

She’s been around blood, gore, and violence before, even Frank’s. But this feels different and Karen realizes it’s because they might be too late to help him this time.

Darcy puts her arm around Karen and tugs her into the kitchen where Trish is filling mixing bowls with warm water and dish cloths.

James comes back with their Stark Medkit and it sounds like Claire sighs in relief to see it.

“It’s more than what I’ve usually got to work with.”

As Claire works, Karen is given the task of emptying and refilling the bowls of water and rinsing out the dish cloths.

It’s simple, but Karen lets it distract her from what’s going on and the whole apartment is deadly silent for almost two hours as Claire works.

Finally, Claire looks up and sighs.

“How do we get him to Stark’s place? He lost a lot of blood and I can’t tell if there’s any internal bleeding.”

Darcy’s on the phone with Pepper instantly and not even twenty minutes later they can hear the sound of a chopper landing on the roof.

The two members of Stark medical arrive with a stretcher shortly after that and after a quick argument it’s decided Claire and James will go with Frank in the helicopter and the rest of them will drive.

Darcy has to physically uncurl Karen’s fingers from around Frank’s arm as they try to take him out of the door.

“Karen. Karen. Earth to Karen Page.”

Karen jerks and blinks owlishly at Darcy.

“Hey, why don’t you go take a shower?”

“What? No! We’ve got to go, Darcy.”

“Karen, you need to relax. You’re covered in blood, you need to change and shower. There’s nothing we’ll be able to do at the tower right away.”

“C’mon Karen, you just need to shower and then we can go okay?” Trish says, taking Karen’s hand and leading her to the bathroom.

This feeling of being numb isn’t foreign to Karen, but it’s been a long time and she viciously shoves all thoughts of her brother out of her head and forces herself to take a deep breath.

She can’t help Frank if she loses it. Nodding she drops Trish’s hand, walks into the bathroom, and shuts the door behind her.

Karen methodically scrubs the blood and dirt from her arms and out of her hair. She doesn’t waste time with anything else and when she steps out of the shower there are clean clothes waiting on her.

Hmm...this must have been how Frank felt when she’d been in and out while he was in the shower.

After putting her hair up, she takes her ID and debit card from her purse so she doesn’t have to bring it and leaves the bedroom

Only to freeze and stare out into her living room.

Her couch is gone.

Darcy is sitting on a bar stool and her couch is gone.

“Jessica and Trish took it out.” Darcy says. “The blood probably ruined it.”

“Yeah. Probably.”

She dumps some food into Charlie’s bowl and without another word they leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, always, to EBK.
> 
> Question. We've only got 3 chapters left. Should I keep posting once a week or would you guys like to see them go up all at once?


	15. The Hospital part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank comes to in Stark's Med ward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Since I only got two comments last chapter and they were both in agreement I'm going to posting the last two chapters of this fic today also! They'll come later in the day as I have a bunch of stuff I have to get done around the house!
> 
> Enjoy!

The first thing Frank notices when he regains consciousness is the pain. It’s not as bad as it was when he was dragging himself to his place but it’s not gone either.

The second thing is the fact that it sounds like he’s in a hospital. He can hear a heart monitor beeping softly and he can feel the IV in his arm.

A quick twitch of his arms show that he’s not restrained and he puzzles about that for a minute. What hospital wouldn’t have the Punisher locked into restraints?

He cracks an eye open and is pleasantly surprised that it’s not very bright. He was expecting fluorescent lighting at least, but whatever lights there are have been dimmed.

Finally, as he opens both eyes he notices Karen curled up on a small couch.

Vague memories float across his mind. Karen calling his name, being picked up and moved; he’s also pretty sure he heard Barnes at some point.

Frank tries to sit up and immediately regrets his decision.

It must be his hiss of pain that wakes her. One second she’s sleeping, soundly if not peacefully, the next she’s wide awake and at his side.

“Don’t try to sit up, you ass.” She adds the last bit almost as an afterthought as she gently pushes his shoulders down; turning to the side table she picks up a remote and adjusts the bed so he’s facing the room but still reclined.

He grunts when she holds a cup of water with a straw to his lips (he makes a face because it’s one of those plastic straws that loops around) and tells him to drink slowly.

He rumbles something that under normal circumstances could sound like a, “yes ma’am”, and drinks.

The water isn’t ice cold, but it feels nice, and Frank drinks until it’s all gone and Karen can set the cup down.

Straightening she crosses her arms and glares down at him.

Frank presses his lips together so he doesn’t laugh. He knows he probably should’ve died and something tells him she had something to do with him being here now...but she’s trying too hard to look angry and disappointed and for some reason he thinks it’s hilarious.

It seems like Karen can read his mind though and she just huffs at him.

“Obviously they gave you the good drugs.”

She stalks back to the little couch and drops down onto it as the door opens and a nurse comes to check his vitals.

They want to keep him overnight for more observation (actually they’d rather keep him a few more days, but even the Stark medical staff don’t get paid enough to deal with the constant whining they get saddled with) and the glare on Karen’s face has him agreeing to stay.

Just for another night. He can stand another night. Besides this is about as secure as anywhere else.

He’s a little lost in his thoughts but registers that Karen is going to leave and get lunch.

She sticks her head back in the door and catches his eye. “Oh, you’re going to be moving into my place because I’m a little tired of the places you pick to sleep. They’re all disgusting.”

Wrinkling her nose at him she leaves again as her words slowly filter in a jumble into his head.

Then…

 

“WHAT?”

 

Karen doesn’t come back into the room but a few minutes after his outburst Barnes does, with Rogers in tow.

Barnes takes a quick look at his face and starts snickering.

“How are you feeling, Frank?” Rogers asks politely, ignoring his best friend.

“I uh. Better. I think?” Frank shakes his head. “They want to keep me another night.”

Rogers nods sagely, like it’s not really news to him and turns to face his friend. “What’s so funny, Buck?”

“Well, it looks to me as if the big, bad, Punisher was just steamrollered by a little blonde we know.”

Rogers just raises his eyes.

Frank finds his mouth twisting into a smile. “Jesus, my wife woulda loved Page. They would’ve gotten on like a house on fire.”

Rogers blinks.

“She just told me I’m moving in with her. Apparently, my opinion doesn’t count for shit. Just like with my old lady.”

Barnes is practically howling with laughter and Rogers looks torn between sympathy for Frank and amusement at his beast friends antics.

“Buck...isn’t that how you ended up living with Darcy?”

Barnes looks pleased as a pig in shit as he nods.

“Blessed be the Monsters of this world, for surely a bossy woman will invade their life and take control,” he intones.

“That sure doesn’t sound like anything I ever heard in a church.”

“Darcy started saying it after she took Thor to mass one day when he was going on about learning Midgard’s religious customs.”

The door opens then and Frank grins. “Speak of the Devil and two shall appear.”

Karen must be right: he must be on the good drugs; it’s been a while since he’s felt this light.

Darcy and Karen trade a look and an eyeroll.

“If the heaven’s ever did speak, she’s the last true mouthpiece.”

“Oh my god.” Darcy elbows Barnes in the stomach and sets down the tray in her hands. “You hear that song ONE time and you can’t stop quoting it.

“Can’t help it, doll. Not my fault if someone wrote a song about you.”

Frank is distracted from the argument by Karen bringing over another tray with food.

It sure as shit doesn’t smell like any hospital food he’s ever smelled.

She takes the lid off one of the serving plate to reveal a bowl of soup. He feels like he should be disappointed but damn if he hasn’t smelled soup that good since his mother made it for him when he was sick as a kid.

Maria liked to cook, but she wasn’t a huge fan of soup and would just buy pre-made stuff if the kids were sick.

Darcy and Barnes still going at it with Rogers hovering on the outskirts registers only faintly as Karen pulls up a chair.

He scowls as she makes like she’s going to feed it to him.

“I can take care of myself.”

She flashes him a smile with a little too much teeth, mutters something about the shoe being on the other foot, and digs into her own food.

Frank picks up the spoon she dropped into the little plastic bowl and Jesus Christ this is the best soup and he’s not sure he can help the sounds coming out of his mouth.

Yeah. Definitely the good drugs.

Another nurse comes in after they’re done eating and fiddles with the machines next to him and he’s feeling drowsy before she finishes.

Karen gives him a knowing look as she cleans up the dishes, leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead, before gathering the dishes and the other people in the room and herding them all out.

It feels like his forehead is burning from where her lips touched and while he’s sure it’s the drugs, he’s also sure he can hear Maria laughing at him (again) as he drops off to sleep.


	16. Girls night, Interrupted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karen has a girls night and Frank comes back angry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the end. Only one more chapter after this!

Despite the fact that Karen hasn’t lived with a room-mate since college, having Frank move in with her isn’t difficult at all.

For her at least.

Frank still acts like he’s constantly invading her space and he thinks she’ll kick him out any second.

She knows he thinks she probably should kick him out but they had that talk before he left the hospital.

The situation is better for both of them... and Lucky.

Winter is in full force and he doesn’t have to stay (or leave Lucky) in a place with no heat after being out in the snow all night.

Besides she’s never had a guest room before so she doesn’t know what she would have done with it anyway.

Honestly, her whole argument against him is based on Lucky. She’s using his weakness and love for the dog against him and she’s not ashamed in the least.

She’s pretty sure he knows it too, but so far he hasn’t called her out on it.

Plus, she can’t kick him out now that she’s had his cooking. His serious, spent all day in the kitchen while she was at work cooking.

Karen’s no slouch in the kitchen but Jesus. She thinks that she might try to get him to give up killing people and open a restaurant. If people didn’t know he owned it she’s pretty sure it would be off the charts.

When she gets home from work that night she has to stand and blink for a minute, causing a pile-up as various faces peer over her shoulders.

There’s a large slow cooker, one that she’s never seen before, sitting on the counter and her apartment smells like heaven.

A note sits in front of it, “Girls Night” and Karen can’t help but grin as she starts removing her layers and directing the girls to put their coats in the hall closet.

They pile into the kitchen and dish out whatever it is that’s in the cooker. Karen pours wine and whiskey and they settle in. Darcy pulls up the fire logs on the tv, laughing as she does it.

Trish and Jessica take the love seat, part of the replacement set they got her after her old couch was ruined.

The evening passes quickly and Karen is more than a little tipsy when the door to the apartment swings open and Frank stomps in. A quick glance shows that it’s almost two in the morning, which is early for him to be back.

He practically slams the door shut and doesn’t bother taking his boots or jacket off.

Silence falls as he strides through the apartment, not even glancing their way as he heads to the second bedroom, slamming that door shut too.

They all trade wary glances and Karen sighs, her buzz gone.

Darcy gives her a quick side hug. “Must’ve been a bad night.”

Karen nods and they sit in silence.

A few minutes later the apartment door opens again as James lets himself in, Lucky trailing behind him looking tired and happy

They both must realize somethings wrong because as soon as James un-clips Lucky’s lead, the dog is padding over to Frank’s door to sit in front of it and whine.

James and Darcy trade looks, communicating in eyebrow twitches and head gestures.

Karen sighs to herself. That must be something that you pick up living in the Tower- the ability to communicate with eyebrow movements and facial tics.

James follows Lucky to Frank’s door and knocks.

She can hear him grumble something from inside, likely thinking it’s her, but James opens the door anyway and enters the room.

“I feel like that’s our cue to hit the road,” Trish says, smiling.

They help Karen bring the dishes to the kitchen and gather their coats before hurrying out the door.

She checks to make sure Darcy doesn’t want to stay and wait for James but the other woman just waves her off and heads to the elevator.

Karen shuts the door after them and goes back to the kitchen to start washing the dishes before she sticks them in the dishwasher.

With nothing left to do she paces around the living room for a few minutes before deciding to make a retreat to her bedroom.

* * *

She’s in the bathroom after changing out of her day clothes when she hears the front door shut. After brushing her teeth, she ventures back out, is a little disappointed not to see Frank, and locks the door before heading back to her bedroom.

Climbing into bed is the best thing, she thinks. She doesn’t want to just hover in the living room on the off chance that Frank will come out.

Besides, tomorrow is Saturday and she’s sure she’ll see him at some point.

It’s almost four when she’s finally drifting off to sleep and her bedroom door opens.

Her eyes feel like they’re glued shut and she struggles to get them open even a little when she feels the bed dip beside her. She knows it’s Frank, of course, but she still wants to see him.

Finally, she rouses herself from half sleep and peers at him.

His eyes are bloodshot, the only sign he’s been crying...or maybe he’s drunk. She’s not sure, because she can’t remember seeing him cry before.

He’s just sitting there looking at her like he has a million things to say, but Karen just reaches for him and tugs him into the bed.

There’s a few minutes where they adjust; he gets under the covers and finally ends up resting his head on her chest. His head is pretty heavy, so she shoves a pillow between them and that feels better.

Her fingers start carding through his hair and she thinks he might be crying again but he’s not making any noise.

They stay like that for a while and she’s drifting again when he suddenly speaks.

“They were kids, Karen.”

“Mmm?”

“Fucking kids. I think the oldest must’ve been 10. We had to call the cops.”

“We?”

“Red was there. They couldn’t stand looking at either of us; too scared. They started screaming anytime we tried to get them out.”

“Mmm.”

Frank’s rumbling voice is soothing and she’s struggling to stay awake because what he’s telling her is horrific and terrible but she’s never shared a bed with Frank fucking Castle before and damnit, he’s cuddly.

“’M sorry.”

He grunts.

“Don’t be. Nothing you could do to fix it.”

“I know. I’m still sorry.”

“Well. They’re all dead now. I don’t think Red was trying too hard to stop me this time.”

Karen makes a face every time he mentions Matt but since his head is on her he can’t see it.

“Is there anything I can do, Frank? I know I can’t help much but...” she trails off.

“This is fine.”

They lapse back into silence.

If she wasn’t so damn tired from the alcohol, Karen knows she’d be raging against what he had to go through tonight.

And she is. On the inside.

Her fingers resume their motion in his hair and he sighs.

Karen glances down at him with a sad look on her face before adjusting once more and falling asleep.

* * *

 

He’s still there when she wakes up the next morning, wrapped around her like an octopus with Lucky sleeping at the foot of the bed.

Karen snorts and makes the effort to slide out of bed, but Frank tightens his arms around her and she relents.

Grabbing her phone from the table, she types her password and logs into her social media. She’s long since moved everything over to this untraceable burner phone and gotten rid of her old personal cell.

Juggling two phones was a pain in the ass anyway.

Probably an hour later Frank finally starts to stir and she’s relieved because she has to pee.

He mumbles something that causes her heart to stop for a moment, before she’s practically yanking herself out of bed and dashing into the bathroom, locking the door behind herself.

Damn. Just when she thought things were going well.

He’d called her Maria.

She hides out in the bathroom until she hears him leave her room, because she doesn’t know what to say.

She’s surprised how much she hurts and she’s angry at herself.

Karen Page isn’t jealous of a dead woman; she refuses to be that petty and think any kind of ill of Maria Castle.

Frank doesn’t deserve Karen’s lapse in understanding or her jealousy.

He’s suffered enough already and she refuses to put any kind of pressure on him.

Ignoring the hurt she feels Karen climbs into the shower and thinks she hears the front door close.

Now he’s gone and she feels even worse.

Her plan was to make him coffee and maybe talk about what happened last night, let him talk it out more to a more coherent Karen and see if he felt any better about it.

She practically rubs her skin raw in her anger at herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks so much to my beta Evil Bunny King! <3


	17. Yes Ma'am

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karen and Frank finally get their shit together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter! I hope you all enjoyed reading this fic.  
> I'm also not the best at writing smut but gave it a shot

Frank stays away for a week, but this time he checks in with Karen to let her know he’s not dying somewhere.

She tries to apologize for running off on him, tries to get him to talk about what happened but he never answers those texts.

So, she gives up. Mostly. Jesus he’s more like a skittish animal than she thought and sometimes she can’t help but laugh to herself.

It’s Christmas Eve when she goes looking for him. She’s bundled up as best she can and drops Lucky off with Darcy and James.

Looking for him isn’t the right word because she knows exactly where he’ll be and she stops at one of the open corner stores and picks up a few potted poinsettias. They’re not really a plant she likes, but her mother said they represent Christmas and she thinks they’ll look nice.

It’s a little after ten when she finds the graves of the Castle family. Frank is sitting on the small bench in front of them and it looks like he’s talking.

Karen makes sure he can hear her coming before she steps past him and arranges the flowers on the graves.

Once that’s done, she settles in next to him, pulling her coat and scarf tighter around herself.

It starts to snow again while they sit there but Karen doesn’t mind. Frank needs this and she’s more than happy to be here for him.

When he speaks, his voice is hoarse, like he hasn’t said a damn thing the entire week he’s been gone.

“Thanks for the flowers.”

Karen shrugs. “I actually hate them. But, my momma said that they’re Christmas in a flower, so.”

He barks out a laugh at that. “Maria hated them too.”

They both chuckle at that before slowly lapsing back into silence.

It’s another little while before she can feel Frank’s eyes on her; Karen contemplates ignoring him but decides against it.

Almost the second she turns to look back at him, he’s moving forward.

He reaches for her, twining his fingers in her hair, worn loose to keep her ears warm, and pulls her closer to press a kiss against her lips.

It’s soft and that surprises her for a second. He doesn’t move or pry, just sits there with his lips pressed against hers until she gets over her shock and kisses him back.

Karen loses track of time while they kiss. It stays soft and slow. Frank seems in no hurry to go any further or even open his mouth to her and she thinks it’s actually really sweet.

Until someone clears a throat behind them and they spring apart.

She’s pretty sure it’s the caretaker, which is confirmed when he informs them that they’re closing the graveyard for the night and they can come back tomorrow.

She can feel the heat in her cheeks and can’t bring herself to look at Frank as he follows behind her.

It looks like Frank would be content to walk back to her apartment but Karen is absolutely freezing so she hails the lone cab coming down the street.

They’re silent the entire ride back to her place...their place. It’s still a little weird to think of it as theirs but he does live in her guest room.

It’s a really short ride and she mentions Lucky but Frank just shakes his head and presses the button for their floor.

He’s standing so close Karen can feel the heat coming from him despite all the layers.

Or maybe her blush hasn’t faded yet.

He’s still following close as they exit the elevator, practically stepping on her heels, and she realizes why the second she opens the door.

Frank’s bulk pushes her in and he swings the door closed behind them only to spin her and press her back against it so he can seal his lips over hers again.

This kiss. This is what she expected Frank to kiss like.

Now it feels urgent and a little desperate and his hands are trying to burrow their way under her layers.

His are easier to get under and he hisses as her cold hands come in contact with his torso.

Karen gently pushes him away and it seems to take an age because he doesn’t want to stop but now, with the heat on in the apartment, she’s starting to get too warm.

So she unwraps her scarf and peels off her jacket that’s wet from melted snow. He seems to get the hint and hands her his jacket. Frank doesn’t really do layers, just the overcoat and a long sleeved shirt.

But he vanishes into the guestroom to put away his kevlar (and she wonders if he was worried about being shot while he was sitting in front of his family’s graves and Jesus that’s a morbid thought and she needs to stop it) and weapons so she can hang up her coat and take off her boots.

She’s convinced that he just uses the small chest of drawers for his clothes and the walk in closet as mini armory. She’s not positive because she hasn’t been into that room since he moved in, but he and James spent 8 hours in there once and that was the best idea she and Darcy came up with.

When he comes back she’s standing there in her turtleneck and pants and he just stares until she lets out a nervous giggle.

The first time he’d seen her in slacks instead of a skirt he’d just gaped at her.

The first time she’d worn leggings around him he’d silently cursed up a storm and disappeared into his bedroom, which she thought was hilarious.

He’s changed into a tanktop and a pair of sweats which she can appreciate so they end up just staring at each other for a few minutes.

This time it’s Karen who moves first, taking long strides across the room to grab him by the back of the neck and kiss him.

She never realized how much she likes his hair. It’s no longer military regulation short, but it’s not what anyone would consider long; just long enough for her to wrap around her fingers and tug.

He groans into her mouth when she does it and Karen smirks into the kiss. She digs her nails into his shoulder while tugging at his hair again and he slides a hand down to her ass to pull her even closer to him.

Hmm…

She’s sure she shouldn’t be wondering what kind of kinks Frank Castle has this early in the game.

That thought by itself makes her burst out laughing and she has to pull away.

When she finally looks up, he’s pouting. Or as close to pouting as the big, bad Punisher can get anyway.

“It’s not you, I promise,” she says through giggles. “Just a stray thought.”

He grunts and starts to turn away but she grabs his arm and kisses him again.

“Really. It’s just something silly I was thinking about. I’ll even tell you later. But now...”

Karen trails off and backs away to remove her turtleneck, drop it on the floor, and move towards the bedroom.

She doesn’t make it very far before he catches up to her, pulls her flush against his own naked chest, and starts kissing the side of her neck.

It’s a bit of a fight to keep from laughing again as he walks with her, keeping her flush against him, into the bedroom.

It’s a little awkward but they manage to make it to the bed so she can finally turn back around and she just freezes.

Fuck.

Karen page has seen some well-built men in her life but Frank Goddamn Castle takes the cake, scars and all.

And boy are there scars, more than she remembers from the last time she had to patch him up. Probably because it always made her uncomfortable while stitching him back together, but she’d dealt with it by keeping a professional air.

Now is no time for being professional and Karen can’t help but drink the sight of him in with those sweats slung low on his hips.  
She expects him to get antsy at her perusal, as he usually does when she takes any time to look him over.

He dispels that notion quickly. “See something you like, Ma’am?”

It’s the ma’am that does it. Karen yanks him closer by his sweats and starts kissing him, raking her nails down his chest to get him to make that delicious groan again.

They finish stripping quickly, faster really than she expected, and then she’s lying back on the bed with Frank hovering above her.

He hesitates until she reaches up to pull him in for another kiss, this one soft and tender like the first.

After that really there’s no stopping him even if she wanted too, which is one of the furthest things in her mind.

She’s wet and ready; wants him to hurry up. When it looks like Frank is going the foreplay route she stops him by shoving him sideways.

As usual Karen is sure that surprise is the only reason she got the best of him, but now she’s straddling him and almost positive she looks smug about it.

After just a minute of teasing Karen raises herself up and then lowers herself onto his dick.

In the time it takes for Frank to get over his moment of being stunned, she’s already found a quick, hard pace that she likes, using Frank to chase her own orgasm.

He gets the picture pretty quickly though and after that he’s just fine with letting her take control.

It’s been a while since Karen’s had sex, let alone good sex, and she’s a little disappointed to feel her orgasm building. She leans forward to press kisses along Frank’s collar bone and shoulder, tugging on his hair in an effort to get him to speed up, fuck her harder.

And she’ll be damned if Frank Castle doesn’t take direction well. He’s snapping his hips up, fucking into her almost brutally, gripping her hip, and growling every time she yanks his hair and hisses his name.

It’s a near thing, but Karen comes first, her upper body falling limp against him with her hair draping over part of his face. She tries to laugh as she pushes her hair back, but she can’t really make any sounds.

Now that Karen’s come, he’s after his own release.

Driving into her harder and faster and she’s sure there will be plenty of bruises and aches tomorrow.

It doesn’t take him long, his body going tense, and he growls her name as he comes.

She knows she should probably move, it’s not like Frank is a body pillow, but she can’t bring herself to do anything and they lay there in silence.

For a while anyway.

“You know-” There’s a hesitation in his voice. “That’s the first time I’ve...since Maria.”

Karen blinks.

 

Well.

 

She kind of figured it, of course, Frank Castle isn’t the type to go picking up girls off the street after all but she didn’t really expect him to mention it.

Now she doesn’t know what to say. She tilts her hear slightly, but he’s looking up at the ceiling as his hand starts trailing up and down her back.

“You know, we don’t have to do that again. If it was out of pity or whatever.”

Karen Page can’t remember a time where Frank Goddamn Castle has ever looked so unsure of himself, so insecure. She wonders for a second if he feels like he’s just cheated on his wife and she grimaces.

If he thinks this was some kind of a pity fuck...well men can be stupid.

She snakes her hand back into his hair, silent, lulling him into a little bit of ease before she tightens his grip and yanks, hard.

Harder than she had during sex.

And she makes him look at her.

“Shut up, Frank”

She gives him another hard kiss, biting at his lip.

“We’re going to be doing that more. A lot more. And you’re going to sleep in here with me.”

“That sounds an awful lot like a relationship.”

Karen rolls her eyes.

“I’m aware of that. Now carry me into the bathroom would you? I don’t trust my legs right now and I don’t want to get your come all over my comforter. It’s new.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize I didn't mention them using a condom but we're going to just assume she's on birth control mostly because I don't want to re-write parts.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has left kudos and/or comments! It means a lot to me.
> 
> And of course thanks to EvilBunnyKing for being an awesome beta and friend <3


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